Crime Time: Girls Just Want to Be Dumb

So this is clearly turning into a Thursday post. Sorry about that, but some of the reports aren't updated until sometime on Wednesday. 

Anywhoozles, here we go! 

Some of this week's best come to us from some very special ladies...

A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for fraud after attempting to have a fraudulent prescription filled at Walgreens, 6020 W. Brown Deer Road, at 9 p.m. May 23. She said the prescription for Promethazine with codeine cough syrup was for her nephew. This cough syrup is often mixed with Mountain Dew or Sprite to make "Purple Drank" a drink that causes people to get high. 

Your nephew. Right. Seems legit.

A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling and using profanities at Great Clips, 8689 N. Port Washington Road, at 4:50 p.m. May 23. The woman was angry, she said, because she couldn't get "a perm." She frightened other customers and two young children who were in the salon. She drove away but was stopped.  

Honestly, they were just trying to save her from herself...  

A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling and using profanities while in the drive-thru and inside McDonald's, 8737 N. Port Washington Road, at 2 p.m. May 26. The woman was in the drive-thru while on the phone and when asked either to order or move on yelled "Shut the (expletive) up" to the employee. She then parked her car and went inside where she continued yelling. When another employee asked her to be quiet she said, "I'm a grown person and can speak how I (expletive) want."

What the (expletive), man? This is a grown (expletive) person! How dare you ask her to be quiet, you (expletive)!

A woman, age and residence not released, was cited for disorderly conduct in the 1100 block of East Capitol Drive at 10:15 p.m. May 26. The woman, riding her bicycle on the sidewalk, stopped and started yelling profanities and making obscene gestures.

While it was probably the profanity and obscene gestures that did her in, I think Hubby might argue that worst part of this crime was that she was riding on the sidewalk.

An officer who pulled a vehicle over after observing it had only three functioning tires and was smoking from under the hood arrested the female driver for drunken driving on Main Street and Pilgrim Road at 4:22 a.m. May 29. After taking the woman into custody, the officer found two lorazepam tablets in her possession and she was also arrested for possession of illegally obtained prescription medication. Her blood alcohol content was unavailable.

All kinds of special. ALL kinds.

Now, don't worry, fellas. We've got some for you, too!

A man, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling profanities inside Kopp's, 5373 N. Port Washington Road, at 4:30 p.m. June 1. The man became angry when he tried to order a shake and was told he had to get into another line. He then yelled and screamed with children present and also threatened an employee. He fled on a motor scooter but was stopped telling police he had "anger issues."  

Though they seem fun, and it might sound like a good idea at the time, remember that motor scooters don't make good getaway vehicles. (Though in his defense, if I'd already stood in line and then got told I had to stand in another line just to get my damn shake, I'd be pretty pissed off, too.)

Two unidentified people took several bushes from Aldi, 4615 W. Layton Ave., on May 28 and drove off.

Two weeks ago it was trees and dirt. Last week it was gardening tools. Now it's bushes. Someone's going to have a lovely evil lair when all is said and done!  

A man was arrested for aggravated battery at a home in the 7200 block of South Shepard Avenue after he threw a pair of grass shears at a woman, causing a 2.5-inch cut on her left wrist and a 1-inch cut on her left thumb that required stitches at 8:40 a.m. May 27. The man was angry because the woman told him to clean up food he had left on a patio deck.  

That's a totally normal reaction, right? No? Shit... I've been going about things all wrong then!

A resident at an apartment building at 2613 University Drive called police at 4:47 p.m. May 29 to say his neighbor took his dog's feces from the woods near the complex and put it on his doorstep with a note stating clean up after your dog. The caller said he feels he does not need to clean up the feces because he hasn't for three years and thinks his neighbor is harassing him. Police advised him he does need to clean up after his dog. The neighbor was advised on leaving feces and profane notes.

Admitting you haven't been cleaning up your dog's shit for the past 3 years isn't the best way to start your defense. Honesty is a good policy, but silence is also golden... 

And my favorite one this week: 

A resident reported that a couch she had put outside her home for anyone to take was sitting in Greenlawn Park, in the 7700 block of South Howell Avenue, at 12:50 p.m. May 26. An officer spoke to a man who was sleeping on the couch, who said he didn't think anyone wanted the couch and decided to take it to the park to take a nap. The couch was moved back to the residence so it could be picked up by the Street Department.

It was there for the taking! No one specified WHERE to take it, right? The guy wanted a nap and there was a free couch; who wouldn't take advantage of that sweet deal?!

Crime Time

For the past few months, I've been checking the local police reports to see what kind of shit goes down in the Milwaukee area. Most of it's pretty standard: theft (apparently women in their later 20s to early 40s really like to shoplift), drunk driving, vandalism, etc. But some of them are too good, bad, or weird to keep to myself.

So allow me to present the first ever Crime Time post. I check these weekly, so expect more goodies to come.

The following are from official police reports in the greater Milwaukee area.

A caller reported a suspicious male was "lingering" around the park in the 10700 block of West Cold Spring Road at about 8:25 p.m. April 25. The caller told police the man, described as a white male about 40 to 50 years old with dark hair, went in the Porta Potty near the back end of the park and when he exited the he had changed from his work clothes into a white dress. The caller further stated that when the man noticed he was being watched by the caller and her family, he "high-tailed it out of there" and was last seen driving eastbound on West Cold Spring Road. Police checked the area but were unable to locate a man wearing a white dress.

You'd think a man in a white dress would stand out. Also, he might've been "lingering" but was he really all that threatening? Maybe he can't be himself at home (sad) and needed a place to change. Or maybe he's a superhero! I mean, phone booths aren't all that prevalent anymore...

A 17-year-old Mequon youth and 16-year-old youth, residence not listed, were cited for disorderly conduct after a caller said there were kids fighting in a parking lot in the 100 block of North Orchard Street at 3:20 p.m. April 14. It appeared other youths were filming the fight, and when officers arrived, the group left the area. Police later identified the fight participants from a YouTube video that was posted online.  

Seriously? Kids, here's a tip. If you're going to be stupid (like, illegal or getting the police involved kind of stupid), maybe wait awhile to Youtube it. I know all your friends want to see, but that's what email is for. Unless you want to get your friends in trouble, in which case, carry on (but watch your backs).

Police were dispatched on a call of a suspicious person at 2:46 p.m. April 16. A caller said two people were panhandling between Arby's and US Bank on Silvernail Road and had a sign that read "Hungry, Hungry, Hippies."

Suspicious? More like awesome.

Two 13-year-old Milwaukee boys were arrested after they got into a fistfight at Whitman Middle School, 11100 W. Center St., at 9:58 a.m. April 25. The two were fighting about a kickball game earlier that day.  

Kickball is serious business. I assume that this started because someone wanted a pitcher, not a belly-itcher.

An Amish buggy, value not listed, was reported taken from a yard in the 8700 block of North 64th Street at 5:45 p.m. April 20. No other information was available.

Stealing from the Amish? I'm pretty sure that's a paddlin'.

A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for drunken driving, no proof of insurance and lane deviation after she crossed the centerline in the 5000 block of North Lake Drive and stopped on East Circle Drive at 1:10 a.m. April 24. When asked for her driver's license, she handed the officer the window sticker showing the price of the car. When asked again, she searched the glove box and handed over a copy of the same information saying "I think that is what you need." She at first said she had one glass of wine about 7 hours earlier. When told she still smelled of alcohol, she admitted having three wines after dinner and a beer. Her BAC was 0.18.

"The price is wrong, bitch!"

A 43-year-old man reported his neighbor, a 52-year-old man, called him a derogatory name and "flipped him the bird" in the 9100 block of West Elm Court about 10:30 a.m. April 27. The neighbor admitted to "flipping him the bird" after the 43-year-old began "staring him down." Police advised both men to avoid contact with each other.

Isn't "flipping the bird" the most natural response when someone is "staring you down"?

A resident reported finding what appeared to be an "established drug site" near Highland and Fieldwood roads at 4:40 p.m. April 21. Police found what appeared to be a former campsite surrounded by bicycle tracks. Also found was a homemade bong.

Bicycles, people. They had BICYCLES!! THE HORROR!!!


So that's it for this week, kids. If you're having a bad week, just remember that you aren't one of these people. (Unless you are one of these people, in which case, sorry about that. But c'mon. It's kind of funny, right? Right??)

Rant: Bitches Be Crazy

I just got back from a quick trip to Las Vegas to spend time with my sisters. I had a lot of fun and got to take a nice break from school AND work at the same time (a rare thing these days). There were awesome people, awesome meals, and awesome sites, but one thing that sucked was the flight home.

K and S dropped me off near security and I headed on in. Thankfully, I didn't have to do the full body scanner, just a good old metal detector.  Phew! I grabbed some snackage and a Coke and found a nice spot to chill for awhile.

I had paid an extra $10 to board early (instead of being in Zone 5 or whatever, I got to board with Zones 1 and 2, even though I was in 24F). I met a nice guy who saw I was reading A Game Of Thrones and suggested some other books for me, and then I settled into my nice window seat. 

The couple who sat next to me were among the last to get on the plane. The gentleman (24D) on the aisle was (by my estimates) probably around 50 years old. He looked and sounded smart and polite, and seemed pretty laid back. The woman in the middle seat (24E) looked younger (maybe mid-thirties?), but she pretty much fell asleep (cuddling with the man; I assume they're married or at least dating) as soon as we took off, so I didn't think anything of her. I just kept reading.

I got a Coke on the first round of drinks, but 24E missed it because she had been sleeping. She got something on the second round, and while trying to set it down, sloshed some liquid and ice on to the tray. She almost dropped it completely, but 24D was able to help her out a bit. Some liquid hit me, and the most I heard was a mumbled half-apology that I think was aimed at the attendant (who was trying to help clean it up) but I decided that hey, shit happens. I let it go.

When the flight attendants came back through for garbage, 24E asked if she could get another drink because she had missed the first round. She ordered a vodka and tonic, and the attendant told her to hit the call button if she forgot to bring it.  About 5 minutes passed, and 24E hit the call button. Along came the vodka and tonic. Another 5 minutes or so and the drink was gone. 

At some point here, she went looking for a pen in her purse and couldn't find one. She turned and asked me if I had a pen in my purse, to which I replied, "I don't, I'm sorry." (It wasn't even for her; her friend across the aisle wanted to do a crossword puzzle.) Shortly after, she hit her call button again. Since nothing happened (she gave it probably a whole 3 minutes or so), she hit the button again to turn it off, and AGAIN to turn it back on. What did she need so badly? Another vodka and tonic. ("Not that I need one!" she told told the attendant, as she sloshed some more liquid onto her tray.)

Quick break to let you know that during the flight, I had a headache. I alternated between reading and laying back with my eyes closed to fight off the pain, and I kept my window shade down so I didn't have sun in my eyes. OK. Back to the story.

We had about an hour left in our 3 hour flight, and 24E sloshed her drink again. This time, a decent amount hit me right on the leg and it was icy cold. Still no apology, so at this point, I'm a bit annoyed, but whatever. Back to my book.

And that's when it all went downhill.

24E turned to 24D and said (loudly), "Next time, I want a window seat. Whenever we fly, one of us should have the window seat!" I hear that. That's why I request a window seat; I like to be on the inside so I can lean on the plane and control the window shade. Understood.

For the last 45 minutes or so of the flight, that's all she talked about. Loudly. She complained to 24D (who told her, "it's not that simple" to which she replied, "oh yes it is!") several times. She shifted around to look out the window of 25F behind me, stating that she couldn't see out her window. She kept asking the row behind us about how close we were to the ground, and asking what they could see, since she couldn't see anything. It was pretty damn obvious that she wanted me to open my shade, but she never actually addressed me (aside from the pen inquiry).

I was about ready to just open the damn thing so I didn't have to hear her complain anymore until this happened.

24E: "Next time I want a window seat! One of us has to have the window seat. I can't see anything!"

24D: "OK, but I can't do anything about it. Stop yelling at me."

24E (twisting around to try to look out 25F's window again): "I know, I'm not yelling at you. I'm indirectly yelling at someone else!"

So, in case you haven't realized, I'm the someone else she was indirectly yelling at. Once again, she never addressed me directly. She never once said, "Excuse me, I'd really like to see out the window. Could you open your shade?" or "Can I check the view?" or even "Hey! Open the shade!" It was all a bunch of passive-aggressive statements said to others around me. That's when I decided there was no way I was opening that shade.

I read until we landed. While we were waiting to get off the plane, 24E started getting all sorts of belligerent. "Oh my God! The people up front had like twenty fucking minutes to get their shit out from overhead! Come on! We're from Wisconsin, we're not that stupid!" Um, really? Because as best I could tell, people got up to grab their stuff as soon as the seat belt sign went off, which is the earliest you're really allowed to do so. Twenty minutes? Not so much. She kept yelling things like that. Even on the way out of the plane. ("We're back in Wisconsin! Fuck you, Las Vegas!")

I was proud of myself for being the bigger person and not saying anything on the plane. I also felt like I had done the right thing by not opening my shade. I had selected the window seat on purpose and no one ever asked me to open it. What's done was done.

Until I was walking through the terminal to get to baggage, and from behind me I hear, "...and I couldn't see anything 'cause she wouldn't open the fucking window!" 

Done.

I whipped around and yelled, "You never actually asked me to open it!" She pointed and yelled, "It was you!" as I turned back around.  "Yep. It was me."

To my back she said, "You heard me say it like 5 times!" So I turned back again.

"Yes, but you never asked me to open it. Had you asked me to open it, I probably would have, but you never asked me to." She had the decency to at least look a bit taken aback or (could it be?) a little ashamed. I turned back around and hauled ass to Baggage. 

Thank god Hubby was there right away. On the way to the car, I told him about the experience, almost crying because I was so frustrated and upset. I've never sat next to someone so rude and obviously passive-aggressive as this woman was. I had been able to bite my tongue through the flight. Never mind that I got spilled on. Twice. Never mind that she was CLEARLY trying to goad me into opening my shade for her. I let it all go. But bitching about it in the airport after all was said and done? That was the last straw.

Hubby says I did the right thing and not to dwell on it. I'm not dwelling, but I am reflecting and I agree. I did nothing wrong. I don't work for her or take orders from her. I don't have to open my window shade because she wants to see how far up we are (which, btw, is almost impossible from the middle seat anyway, because I sure as hell wasn't going to let her lean over me; I was reading!). I was never addressed, so I never acted. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

So, if you're out there, 24E, I'm sorry you couldn't see out the window. But next time, either get a damn window seat, or think about asking someone directly if you can see out their window (just because you're in a row, it doesn't make it your window), rather than being a passive-aggressive tuna* who thinks the world revolves around her every desire. You're old enough to know better, bitch.

*My alternative for the 'C' word.

What's Done is Done

The Wisconsin recall elections are over.  Finally.  

And now, I have some things to say.

First - I didn't vote yesterday.  Nope.  Not the first time, probably not the last time.  

My reasons were different this time around.  Rather than feeling under informed, I felt like I'd been beaten to death with information: facts stated as opinions, opinions stated as facts, and mud-slinging to boot.  From both sides.  It was sickening.

Don't get me wrong.  I tried.  I really, honestly tried to take a side.  It felt like as soon as I was close to making a decision, something new came to light that made me back off and rethink the whole damn thing.  In the end, I couldn't justify voting when I couldn't decide who to vote for.

I managed to remain fairly silent about the whole ordeal.  Many of my friends were dead-set on recalling Walker.  Others stood behind him the whole way.  I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of things.  Why?  Because I was scared.

These days, I'm normally not too afraid to share my opinions, especially on here.  But I took the coward's way out and am writing this post the day after the recall elections.  First, so no one could try to goad me into voting one way or the other.  It's over.  I didn't vote.  Let's move on.  Second, because I saw people lose friends over this insanity.  I saw debates that turned personal and cruel.  I felt like saying the "wrong" thing was going to turn my life into Hell, that I would lose the respect of people that I like or even love.

Quite honestly, I'm still scared.  As soon as I post this, it's out there.  It's beyond my control.  Once I've said it, I can't un-say it.  But I have to believe that my friends will respect and love me enough that they will see beyond this and just keep loving me for who I am.      

That being said...

To Walker supporters: You prevailed.  Congratulations.  Please, though, remember to be kind.  People in this state felt strongly enough to initiate a recall of the man you support.  Winning doesn't give you the right to gloat.  It doesn't mean you should talk down to anyone or feel superior in any way.  Be gracious.  It could have gone the other way; think about how you would like to be treated in that case.  Most of all, if you stand behind Walker, don't be surprised when certain people are shocked or even disgusted by your opinion, but do be respectful and be willing to defend what you believe in.   

To recall supporters:  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry that this happened, that you felt so strongly about something and it didn't work out.  I'm sorry that you're feeling hurt, let down, and angry.  But remember to be proud that you stood up for what you felt was right and stood against what you felt was wrong.  And like the Walker supporters, I ask you to remember that it could have gone the other way.  When your side loses, it's pretty easy to say that you would've been kinder about things (any good sports fan knows how this goes).  I'm not saying you have to take any bullying or that you should let anyone look down on you; no one should have to endure that.  Just remember that the tides will turn, and remember how this feels. 

To everyone: What's done is done.  I know damn near everyone has something to say about the results, and I truly believe you are all entitled to your opinions.  That's part of being human.  But don't shove it down someone's throat.  Don't rub anyone's face in your victory, and don't place blame on someone just because they think differently.  And please, don't throw away friends because they didn't vote the way you did or because they voice a different opinion.  If they're acting like a dick, then fine, only you can make that call.  But think twice before you do anything hasty.

There you have it.  It wasn't eloquent or spectacularly original, but it's me. <3