What's Done is Done

The Wisconsin recall elections are over.  Finally.  

And now, I have some things to say.

First - I didn't vote yesterday.  Nope.  Not the first time, probably not the last time.  

My reasons were different this time around.  Rather than feeling under informed, I felt like I'd been beaten to death with information: facts stated as opinions, opinions stated as facts, and mud-slinging to boot.  From both sides.  It was sickening.

Don't get me wrong.  I tried.  I really, honestly tried to take a side.  It felt like as soon as I was close to making a decision, something new came to light that made me back off and rethink the whole damn thing.  In the end, I couldn't justify voting when I couldn't decide who to vote for.

I managed to remain fairly silent about the whole ordeal.  Many of my friends were dead-set on recalling Walker.  Others stood behind him the whole way.  I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of things.  Why?  Because I was scared.

These days, I'm normally not too afraid to share my opinions, especially on here.  But I took the coward's way out and am writing this post the day after the recall elections.  First, so no one could try to goad me into voting one way or the other.  It's over.  I didn't vote.  Let's move on.  Second, because I saw people lose friends over this insanity.  I saw debates that turned personal and cruel.  I felt like saying the "wrong" thing was going to turn my life into Hell, that I would lose the respect of people that I like or even love.

Quite honestly, I'm still scared.  As soon as I post this, it's out there.  It's beyond my control.  Once I've said it, I can't un-say it.  But I have to believe that my friends will respect and love me enough that they will see beyond this and just keep loving me for who I am.      

That being said...

To Walker supporters: You prevailed.  Congratulations.  Please, though, remember to be kind.  People in this state felt strongly enough to initiate a recall of the man you support.  Winning doesn't give you the right to gloat.  It doesn't mean you should talk down to anyone or feel superior in any way.  Be gracious.  It could have gone the other way; think about how you would like to be treated in that case.  Most of all, if you stand behind Walker, don't be surprised when certain people are shocked or even disgusted by your opinion, but do be respectful and be willing to defend what you believe in.   

To recall supporters:  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry that this happened, that you felt so strongly about something and it didn't work out.  I'm sorry that you're feeling hurt, let down, and angry.  But remember to be proud that you stood up for what you felt was right and stood against what you felt was wrong.  And like the Walker supporters, I ask you to remember that it could have gone the other way.  When your side loses, it's pretty easy to say that you would've been kinder about things (any good sports fan knows how this goes).  I'm not saying you have to take any bullying or that you should let anyone look down on you; no one should have to endure that.  Just remember that the tides will turn, and remember how this feels. 

To everyone: What's done is done.  I know damn near everyone has something to say about the results, and I truly believe you are all entitled to your opinions.  That's part of being human.  But don't shove it down someone's throat.  Don't rub anyone's face in your victory, and don't place blame on someone just because they think differently.  And please, don't throw away friends because they didn't vote the way you did or because they voice a different opinion.  If they're acting like a dick, then fine, only you can make that call.  But think twice before you do anything hasty.

There you have it.  It wasn't eloquent or spectacularly original, but it's me. <3             

5 Reasons You Should Stop Whining Whenever Facebook Makes Changes

1) It's never going to stop.  No, seriously.  Remember back when it was only for people with college email addresses?  When Facebook first opened up to the general public, a lot of people were PISSED.  I may even have been among them (even though I wasn't actually in college at that point, so I was kind of bending the rules to begin with).  These days, I'm actually happy that it's open.  I have tons of friends I can keep up with, lots of random games to check out, and opportunities that wouldn't have existed if FB had never changed since its original format.  And because FB wants to stay around, they will KEEP updating to try to get the most out of its existence.  I wish you luck in finding a social networking website (or, really, any website worth anything) that never changes things up.

2) If FB changes are the worst thing that you encounter today, your life is pretty flippin' good.  Seriously.  Clearly you have access to the internet, which makes you luckier than a lot of people in the world.  Odds are you're using a computer or smart phone that you own or can easily access, so you likely have an income of sorts and/or a place to live.  If your main complaint for the day was that FB made some stupid changes, maybe you should take a look around and realize how good you have it.  

3) It's a free site.  Free.  As in, no money needed to participate.  As long as you have internet, you can be a part of Facebook.  In all likelihood, no one's forcing you to use it.  (If someone out there reading this currently has a gun to his or her head and is being forced to stalk others via FB, my apologies.)  When you don't pay for something, should you really expect it to be perfectly to your liking?  No, you really shouldn't.

4) There are other options.  The internet is bursting with random websites.  Some of them are even other social networking sites (anyone remember MySpace?).  If you're that unhappy with FB, why not just go somewhere else for entertainment?  Goodness knows there are other ways to keep in touch with friends, if you're so inclined, so it's not like FB is the ONLY way you can live.

5) Facebook (not to mention many of your friends) doesn't care.  With more than 750 million active users, my guess is that your whining doesn't really matter to them.  Empty threats of leaving aren't going to garner much attention.  Hell, even if a bunch of you DO leave the site, there are still MILLIONS of other users willing to put up with a few stupid updates.  Sure, you might get a few "Likes" on your status about how FB can suck your reproductive organs or copulate itself.  And a few friends might write some encouraging comments noting their agreement with your feelings.  But in general, your words are falling on deaf ears (or blind eyes... is that how it would work on the internet?  Oh well...).   

5 Reasons The Day After St. Patrick's Day Should Be A National Holiday

1) People won't need to call in hungover (er, "sick").  Many people use St. Patty's Day to drink themselves into a stupor.  This is fact.  Thus, I have to assume that a number of people call in sick the day after.  That means that the rest of us have to work extra hard to make up for their absences, and that just blows.

2) It's a wasted day.  Those that DO come in hungover are clearly not going to be on their A game, but don't want to use a sick day or paid time off when they can just slack off on the company's dime.  Again, those of us who didn't render ourselves useless may have to work harder (boooo-urns) or will just sit around talking about the adventures the others had the day before.

3) It's just time for a break.  Many of us haven't had a holiday off since New Year's Day.  It's about damn time, so why not the day after St. Patty's?  Otherwise we have to wait until Memorial Day, which feels like for-ev-er.  We're getting restless, which means productivity could be dropping.  Why risk it?

4) I have two words: Spring Fever.  The weather is finally getting nice enough to enjoy!  Let us have a day to actually enjoy it instead of staring longingly out the window wishing we were enjoying it.

5) Not everyone is Irish, but most everyone can agree that a day off is a good thing.  We can call it People Appreciation Day or Random Day Off Day.  I don't care.  I doubt anyone will care.  Just do it.  

World Wide Waste of Time

Thank you, Diablo Cody, for that new meaning of WWW (and thank you Kelly for suggesting I read Candy Girl...  I'm really enjoying it so far!).

So, I frequent one of those sites that hosts all sorts of random games (for free, or for paid membership).  I'm a sucker for a good puzzle game.  Or, pretty much any game really...  I like games!

What I don't like is the chat feature on the SIDE of the game.  Yes, I know, I can minimize the chat.  I often do.  But then I can't see the progress I'm making toward certain goals, and then I get sad, etc etc.  

Recently, I saw a conversation between two members where one was seemingly "hurt" because some woman he had been talking to via the site refused to send him a photo of herself.  The other member commented on how "weird" that was, and how this other woman seemed nice, but something was clearly off.

Seriously?  I had to minimize the chat because I had several theories on why someone wouldn't send a photo, and didn't want to get into it at the time.  However, let me offer some of those theories here:

1) Maybe she is self conscious.  This is probably the most over-looked explanation out there.  I know I would be hesitant to send a photo of myself to a stranger.  What if he expected me to be hotter?  Or thinner?  Or have longer hair?  Or whatever?  I'd rather he just keep whatever pleasant image he has of me in his mind and continue talking to me, rather than judging me based on my appearance and throwing everything else out the window because I don't match what he already has imagined me to be.

2) Maybe she lied.  Another obvious reason... People lie on the internet.  Maybe she's not 5'9 and blonde like she said.  Maybe she's 5'2, morbidly obese and has lost all her teeth.  Clearly she wouldn't want to send a picture, as this would give herself away.  Duh.

3) Maybe she's a he.  Along those same lines, maybe SHE isn't a SHE after all.  Maybe HE just wanted some companionship, and knew that (sadly) most men in chat rooms are just looking for female attention.

4) Maybe she doesn't have any recent photos.  Maybe she's lost 30 pounds since the last one and doesn't want you to see her the way she no longer sees herself.  Maybe she doesn't have a good picture from the past 5 years and doesn't want to give you the impression that she's lying about her age.  Just saying; these things happen.

5) Maybe she just doesn't want to send a picture.  Even if she's been perfectly honest, has self esteem up the wazoo, etc...  Doesn't mean she wants to send you a picture.  Maybe she doesn't want to play into your perverted sexual fantasies by sending you a picture so you can get every imagined detail right.  Maybe she was annoyed because you asked so many times for a picture.  Maybe she just doesn't care.  

Many explanations are pretty harmless, really.  They range from the simple to the incredulous, but each has meaning to someone.  The internet has given us all a blank mask.  We can choose who we want to be at any given point.  It's an exciting, but terrifying, reality.  

I won't lie.  I've been duped.  Bad.  So I really, truly understand not wanting to send photos of yourself to someone you'll likely never even meet.  Maybe it's best that we all just live in our imaginations online and ground ourselves more firmly in the reality of the world around us.

Pipe dreams, right?  Oh well.