Friday, February 25, 2011

First Impressions

The more I think about it, the more confused I get about first impressions. 

On the one hand, they're seriously important, right?  Especially in the business world.  If you miss making a good first impression, you can get majorly screwed (and not in a good way).  It has been found that some experts can size up your resume in 20 seconds to determine if you're a worthy candidate.  Talk about needing to make a good first impression!  And you're not even physically THERE!  It's easy to size someone or something up in a first impression and determine if you're willing to pursue that option, and sometimes it really is necessary to do so based on a brief encounter. 

But on the other hand, how many times are we mislead by first impressions?  Think about the people and things in your life that you misjudged at first.  Or maybe think of a time you know you gave a less than stellar first impression.  I mean, if you're having a rough day, or you're sick, or you don't realize a situation is important, it can be hard to give someone a perfect idea of who you really are. 

So I'm often torn on the subject.  Personally, I get pretty stressed when I know I have to make an excellent impression on someone new.  Makes me nervous and sweaty and jittery; in fact, I probably look like I need to switch to decaf in most situations like this.

Songs are no different, right?  It's hard to get into a song if it doesn't grab you from the very beginning.  So here are some songs that I think have epic beginnings and are bound to make a kick-ass first impression.

Deep Purple - "Smoke On The Water"  Maybe it's because I grew up with my dad randomly busting it out, but I believe that this song has one of the coolest beginnings ever.  Also, it makes for an awesome commercial.  Just saying.

Hootie & The Blowfish - "I Go Blind"  I have two words for you: Power chord.  I used to listen to the first part of this song over and over, just because it struck me as so epically cool.  Who am I kidding?  I'm gonna go listen to it right now...

Queen - "Somebody To Love" Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan anybody find me... another song that has such an amazing vocal-based intro??  Good luck!  Not only is Queen just freaking amazing, this song is just too classic to be ignored.  Love it.

The Beatles - "All You Need Is Love"  I remember being in middle school French class, and when I heard 'La Marseillaise' (the national anthem of France) for the first time, all I could think of was, "Hey!  That's The Beatles!"  I would say I'm embarrassed by that... But... I'm not.  Also, I'm pretty sure my dad's response to that would've been, "We've taught you well."

Chumbawamba - "The Big Issue"  Most people only remember Chumbawamba for "Tubthumping" (or, as my mom loves to call it, "Thumb-sucking" by ChubbyWubby).  But my favorite track on the CD (yes, I had the CD...  in fact, I STILL have it) is actually this song, if for no other reason than the beginning.  I'm a sucker for a nice vocal arrangement, and this song had me at hello (er, at "there are those"?).  

There are a number of other songs with fantastic beginnings.  I could spend all day compiling an uber list for y'all, but these are the 5 I'm going with for now.  

I hope everyone's Friday goes as quickly as they want it to, and that the weekend is spectacular!  Me?  I'm looking forward to my hubby coming home today.  :-)  Yay!!!! 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Hump Day - Headlines To Shake Your Head At

I missed another Moronic Monday, but here's a special Hump Day edition featuring 69 sex headlines. (Of course it's 69 of them.  What other number could you POSSIBLY go with?)

The headlines range from the fairly standard ("25 Hot Sex Secrets!") to some that seem more than a bit quirky ("Untamed Va-jay-jays") all the way to some that sound just plain wrong ("Your Hoo-Ha Handbook" or "Unleash Your Cheeks!").  

The fun part about this list is that by hovering over the headline, you can see just what publication was crazy enough to explore these ideas.  (Cosmo, of course, seems to be one of the craziest.  Shocking.)

Enjoy the day, dear readers!  And remember - to spice up your sex life, clearly the best way is to read magazines.  Don't bother asking your partner what sounds good.  That's too easy!  ;-)

Friday, February 18, 2011

A Loss For Words

As y'all know, I'm a Sconnie girl.  And as many of you also probably know, there is some insanity going down in my state right now.  (If you're unaware, check out  Or even your local news.  I heard we were featured on the local news in Vegas, so...)

For the most part, I have refused to take sides in this situation.  I try to remain fairly a-political in most situations these days, as it helps me keep what little bit of sanity I may have.  Plus, my hubby is political-minded enough for the both of us (and potentially a small country... Love you, hubby!).  

This situation is ripping us apart.  I have friends who are essentially disowning other friends because of their views or opinions on this.  I have other friends who will let you say whatever you want as long as it supports their cause, but aren't willing to listen at all to the other side.  In fact, everyone just seems to be attacking those who oppose them without even a second thought. 

In my opinion, if you want to be taken seriously and be respected, you need to do the same to others.  Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them a bad person or doesn't mean you can't respect one another, does it?  

At this point, I am at a loss for words.  Sometimes, though, words aren't needed.  So, here are a few wonderful "wordless" songs for this Friday.

1) Mason Williams - "Classical Gas"  This is probably my favorite instrumental song of all time.  Also, it's rather fitting for this post.  Simpsons fans out there might remember an episode where the the plant employees go on strike ("Dental plan. Lisa needs braces!  Dental plan.  Lisa needs braces!").  While they're picketing, Lisa is there playing guitar and singing a song for the protesters.  When she has finished, Lenny (I believe) says, "Now do 'Classical Gas'!" at which point Lisa starts in on this epic song.  Awesome.

2) Booker T & the MGs - "Green Onions" Another wonderful gem from the '60s.  Many people probably recognize this song, but had no idea who performed it OR what it's called.  (It happens.  I mean, do you know how long it took me to realize that "stop children what's that sound" was actually called "For What It's Worth"?)  Anywhoozles, this is a pretty awesome song, especially for an instrumental.

3) The Surfaris - "Wipe Out"  Okay, so technically this isn't completely wordless, since they cackle and say, "Wiiiiiipe Ouuuuut" at the beginning and all, but this is still considered an instrumental and is still totally awesome.  Also, The Muppets did their own video for it, so how can you not love it?

4) Champs - "Tequila"  Again, there's one word in this song, but who cares?  Don't you just love being somewhere when this song is playing and everyone stops what they're saying or doing to yell, "Tequila!" at the same time?  Pretty sweet if you ask me.  Bringing people together a few syllables at a time.

5) David Rose - "The Stripper"  If nothing else, this song just makes me smile and want to dance around pretending (PRETENDING) to strip.  It also makes me want to watch "The Full Monty" but that's beside the point.  The point is that this is a highly recognizable song with no lyrics.  Excellent.

Here's hoping everyone has a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!  :-)  Cheers!

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Just a few things I need to get out there.  No real reason.  Just feel the need.

1) Looking through the "People You May Know" section of FB. Of course I know most of them.  I went to school with several of them for a minimum of 4 years (a few I've actually known since pre-school).  I went to / worked at camp with many others.  But my theory is that of these people, my guess is that 90% or so of them don't remember who I am and/or don't care to be friends with me on FB. And I don't feel the need to guess who the other 10% are in order to add them.  

2) Teachers strikes suck for kids.  It's true.  I wish things could get resolved without the kids getting screwed over.  That's all I'm going to say about that for fear of getting into politics.  I prefer to remain a-political most of the time.

3) A banana split sounds excellent right now. 

Monday, February 14, 2011

Moronic Monday - Valentine's Day Edition

Fair warning: This post will offend some people.  If you don't like it, don't read it.  Or read it, and then post an angry comment.  Or start your own blog to complain about my blog.  I don't care.  The point is, these are MY feelings.  Word.

So, there are a few things about Valentine's Day that really bug the shit out of me.  Don't get me wrong - I actually like Valentine's Day.  It's not my favorite holiday, but I think it's a fun way to show people you care about them.  But some people or things really rub me the wrong way on February 14th every year.

1) Engagements.  Okay, I get it.  It's a romantic holiday and you want to embrace that with some huge romantic gesture.  But really?  Be more original, FCOL!  Unless it just so happens that you met/started dating on a Valentine's Day or something incredibly meaningful happened on Feb 14th at some point in your past together, there's NOTHING romantic about a V-Day proposal.  Tons and tons of other couples are doing the same exact thing.  And even if it comes from your heart and you're truly in love, it just seems too easy.  Make some other random day special, and then you can really look back on that together.

2) "Every day is Valentine's Day with my sweetie!" Yes, we know, you're madly in love and every day is wonderful, but seriously?  Get over it.  I love my husband dearly, and he is wonderful to me, but that does NOT make every day Valentine's Day.  Do I look forward to each day with him?  Sure!  But there's something nice about a day to do something different or special just because.  Also, you sound really cheesy saying something like this and it's bound to make people cranky with you.  Just saying.

2b) An alternate to this one is something like, "I don't need a holiday to show how much I love (fill-in-the-blank)!"  Often this is along the same lines, but also tends to scream, "My significant other didn't get me anything, so I'm going to make it seem like I really don't care by playing it cool!"  You care.  You SO care.

3) "Valentine's Day sucks."  Way to sound like a joyless person who wants everyone else to be miserable with you.  It doesn't actually make you cool to dislike a holiday.  And all your friends will likely just think you're a sad, lonely individual who couldn't get a date for Valentine's Day OR that you've become so jaded that nothing they can say or do will ever make you feel better.  Neither sounds particularly like someone I want to hang out with.  But that's me.  

I guess I shouldn't say that these people are all morons.  They probably aren't.  Many of them are just hopeless romantics or have been scorned too much to appreciate the day.  But some of them are just idiots.  Proposing on V-Day because you can't come up with anything better?  Trying to make yourself feel better by writing off an otherwise sweet notion of a holiday?  Bah humbug much? 

How about you just go buy a box of chocolates, find a good movie, and enjoy the day.  No matter who you are, chances are you love SOMEONE, so celebrate that, whether it's your best friend, your pet, your family...  It doesn't matter!  Celebrate love.  It makes the world go 'round. :-)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Missing You

Oi darling, I'm a wanker!  Sorry I've been absent, my dears.  Work has been a bit crazy, and school certainly doesn't make life any LESS crazy.  But here I am!  Huzzah!

It's Friday, but I have mixed feelings about today.  My hubby is gone on a brief trip until tomorrow, so it's just me and the puppers (who, of course, is making me jealous by sleeping the day away).  Call me a sap, but even though he just left this morning, I miss him already!

As such, today I feel it's only right to listen to some love songs.  But not, like, super sappy ones.  I'll save those for a non-Friday.  I need something to make me smile, not cry!  :-)  

So without further ado...

1) Never Shout Never - "Can't Stand It"  This may actually be the definition of a silly love song.  Regardless, it definitely puts a smile on my face.  The whole thing is just goofy and wraps you up in good feelings.  Huzzah!
2) Locksley - "Darling, It's True"  I suppose this isn't necessarily a love song in the truest sense, but whatever.  This is my list.  Anywhoozles, this is a GREAT upbeat song for a long, lonely Friday.
3) Carole King - "I Feel The Earth Move"  If the earth moving under your feet isn't love, I don't know what is.  This is probably one of my favorite songs of all time, and while you might argue it's more about infatuation or lust, I say pfft!  If you can feel the ground quiver beneath you, it's gotta be love.  ;-)
4) Queen - "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" I just can't get enough... of this freakin' song!  Yes, I am a Queen fanatic, so that might account for it...  Either way, love it.  LOVE it.
5) Katy Perry - "Firework"  Anyone who watched this week's Glee knows what I'm talking about.  If you haven't seen it...  Do it.  Now.

Hope everyone has a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend! :-D

Friday, February 4, 2011

I Can't Help Myself

For the past decade or so, I've admitted to having terrible taste in music (aside from The Beatles...  The Beatles are the best band ever, and if you disagree, you're wrong).  I have a love affair with awful 80s music.  I bounce along to catchy, repetitive pop songs.  I love music that some people wouldn't dare refer to as music even at gunpoint.

Most people, I suppose, would call this my guilty pleasure music.  But since I don't deny it or hide it, and in fact am more than willing to share about it, I just refer to it as "my crappy taste in music."

That being said, this week I've decided to share 5 songs from my iTunes list that I thoroughly love listening to, but really shouldn't.  

1) Ke$ha - "Blah Blah Blah"  Yes, I know she can't sing, her songs are full of references to getting naked and alcohol abuse, and no self-respecting person would put up with her grossness...  But dammit, her music is catchy!  And I love dancing around to it.  Never mind that none of it makes sense, as pointed out here.  Sometimes, all you need out of a song is a good time. And a really hot shower to wash the gross off.
2) 3OH!3 - "Don't Trust Me"  I should probably be utterly offended by the line, "Shoosh, girl, hush your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips," but instead, I just find it hilarious.  I love this song so much, I had it on the must-play list for my wedding.  Not even kidding.
3) Aqua - "Barbie Girl"  Obviously, we already know I'm a fan of Aqua, but this song should probably be banished back to the 90's and never heard from again.  Nonetheless, I will crank this song and dance around without reservation.  "Oh, I love you, Ken!"
4) Biz Markie - "Just A Friend"  Holy good God, this is probably the worst song ever made, but it is the BEST song to sing along to!  Especially when stuck in a car for several hours at night and semi-delirious from lack of scenery...
5) Mr. Mister - "Broken Wings"  Every now and then, you just need to clench your fists, close your eyes, and shout at the top of your lungs, "Taaaaaake, these broken wiiiiings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so freeeee..."  Seriously.  Try it. 

Have a great weekend, everyone!  GO PACK GO!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

World Wide Waste of Time

Thank you, Diablo Cody, for that new meaning of WWW (and thank you Kelly for suggesting I read Candy Girl...  I'm really enjoying it so far!).

So, I frequent one of those sites that hosts all sorts of random games (for free, or for paid membership).  I'm a sucker for a good puzzle game.  Or, pretty much any game really...  I like games!

What I don't like is the chat feature on the SIDE of the game.  Yes, I know, I can minimize the chat.  I often do.  But then I can't see the progress I'm making toward certain goals, and then I get sad, etc etc.  

Recently, I saw a conversation between two members where one was seemingly "hurt" because some woman he had been talking to via the site refused to send him a photo of herself.  The other member commented on how "weird" that was, and how this other woman seemed nice, but something was clearly off.

Seriously?  I had to minimize the chat because I had several theories on why someone wouldn't send a photo, and didn't want to get into it at the time.  However, let me offer some of those theories here:
1) Maybe she is self conscious.  This is probably the most over-looked explanation out there.  I know I would be hesitant to send a photo of myself to a stranger.  What if he expected me to be hotter?  Or thinner?  Or have longer hair?  Or whatever?  I'd rather he just keep whatever pleasant image he has of me in his mind and continue talking to me, rather than judging me based on my appearance and throwing everything else out the window because I don't match what he already has imagined me to be.
2) Maybe she lied.  Another obvious reason... People lie on the internet.  Maybe she's not 5'9 and blonde like she said.  Maybe she's 5'2, morbidly obese and has lost all her teeth.  Clearly she wouldn't want to send a picture, as this would give herself away.  Duh.
3) Maybe she's a he.  Along those same lines, maybe SHE isn't a SHE after all.  Maybe HE just wanted some companionship, and knew that (sadly) most men in chat rooms are just looking for female attention.
4) Maybe she doesn't have any recent photos.  Maybe she's lost 30 pounds since the last one and doesn't want you to see her the way she no longer sees herself.  Maybe she doesn't have a good picture from the past 5 years and doesn't want to give you the impression that she's lying about her age.  Just saying; these things happen.
5) Maybe she just doesn't want to send a picture.  Even if she's been perfectly honest, has self esteem up the wazoo, etc...  Doesn't mean she wants to send you a picture.  Maybe she doesn't want to play into your perverted sexual fantasies by sending you a picture so you can get every imagined detail right.  Maybe she was annoyed because you asked so many times for a picture.  Maybe she just doesn't care.  

Many explanations are pretty harmless, really.  They range from the simple to the incredulous, but each has meaning to someone.  The internet has given us all a blank mask.  We can choose who we want to be at any given point.  It's an exciting, but terrifying, reality.  

I won't lie.  I've been duped.  Bad.  So I really, truly understand not wanting to send photos of yourself to someone you'll likely never even meet.  Maybe it's best that we all just live in our imaginations online and ground ourselves more firmly in the reality of the world around us.

Pipe dreams, right?  Oh well. 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snow Day? I Wish...

Again, one of the non-perks of working from home is that you don't get snow days.  In fact, it's hard to even take a sick day (it's not like you're going to get anyone at the office sick, you know?) unless you really feel like crap.  

Thus far, my non-snow day has sucked.  

  • Woke up and looked outside to see the world covered in snow.  No big surprise.  However, my fear of how I was going to let the dog out escalated when I could open either of our screen doors more than an inch.
  • Woke the hubby up so he could advise me on the best method for doing so.  He tried to help me put some boots on, but that didn't work.  They were supposed to go over my shoes, but kept getting stuck.
  • Hubby managed to open the door about a foot.  I held on to the pupper's leash and let her wander a few steps.  When she realized she wasn't going any further, she got the hint and took a piss.  However, she was then COVERED in snow (since the drifts are twice as tall as her... at MINIMUM), which was not so fun to deal with.
  • That's when hubby managed to fall down the basement stairs.  This is the 3rd time it's happened since we moved into this house.  Those stairs are scary steep, we have NO railings, and the floor was starting to get wet from the snow that was falling in from having the door open.  Not cool.
  • Hubby checked his email.  Of course, HE has a snow day.  Ugh.  We were supposed to both be working and miserable!  Instead, I am now working while he sleeps.  -le sigh-
To help, I did make some popcorn (and used REAL butter on it for the first time in ages... soooo good).  But really, that only helps so much.  Reading on Facebook about everyone's snow days and not being at work just makes me wish we had a sympathy snow day or something.  But, alas, that's what I get for "being able to work in my pajamas all the time!"  (The next person to say that will likely come to regret that decision.)

Here's to a long day that just keeps dragging on...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Impending Snow of DOOM!

I missed Moronic Monday yesterday.  I know.  Sorry, yo.  I sort of had something, but it was WAY too serious for my usual MM posts, so I nixed it and just didn't get back to it in time.

Anywhoozles, in comes the blizzard that may bury us all.  Well, maybe not.  But if they're anywhere close to right, we'll be getting what I refer to as a metric shit-ton of snow over the next few days.  Such is life in Wisco, but that doesn't mean I have to be pleased about it.

While I don't personally have to go out in the snow (one of the perks of working from home), hubby does, and I worry about him being out there with all the morons who forget how to drive each time it snows.  Things like this tend to happen...  Not good.

Here's hoping everyone stays safe and warm for the next few days!