Wednesday Crime Time: Gone to the Animals

Happy Hump Day! Here we go!

A Shorewood man, age not released, was warned for dogs at large after a woman called police to report his two schnauzers "came at her" as she walked in the 4500 block of North Wilson Drive at 1 p.m. May 7. She told him his dogs should be on a leash and he told her, "You need to be on a leash." He later apologized. 

Personally, I'd like to give him a high five for that quick retort, though I feel like he completely missed a golden opportunity to call her a bitch. (It's a dog joke, son.)

A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for drunken driving, with a prior conviction, illegal possession of a Schedule II narcotic, driving with a revoked license, defective tail lights, defective brake lights, failure to have insurance and open intoxicants after weaving in traffic in the 4800 block of North Sheffield Avenue about 2:45 a.m. May 7. The woman had three Adderall pills in her purse which she said weren't hers. She admitted knowing her license was revoked. Her BAC was 0.12.

On the plus side... Nope. I got nothin'. 

A 32-year-old Brookfield man was cited for littering after he illegally dumped seven large, empty boxes in the trash at Applebee's, 20101 W. Bluemound Road, before 3:30 p.m. May 4.  

He could have at least dumped them in the recycling bin. Save the planet, dude.

Three men, at least one of them carrying a handgun, robbed Kentucky Fried Chicken, 6311 S. 27th St., at 10 p.m. May 10. The men, two wearing bandanas and one wearing a monkey mask, fled the store on foot with an undisclosed amount of money. Police are investigating.

See, this is what happens when the man in the yellow hat is replaced with two men in bandanas: Curious George Robs a KFC. 

A caller reported two cows running in the road in the 9000 block of West County Line Road about 1:30 p.m. May 11. Police made contact with the owner of the cows, who retrieved them.

I know there's a "Why did the cows cross the road?" joke in here somewhere... In the mean time, anyone who is still partying must immediately stop; the cows have come home.

A staff member at Kindred Transitional Care and Rehab, 5700 W. Layton Ave., called police after two patients began arguing at dinner and one of them threw a sandwich at 7:40 p.m. May 8. 

There are nicer ways of sending your order back that don't result in the police showing up, but where's the fun in that?

About $1 in change was stolen from a home and a television set was disconnected but not stolen during a residential burglary. The back door was forced open, and witnesses said they saw two vehicles in the driveway of the home between 7:30 and 8 p.m. May 4. The home is uninhabited. The location of this burglary was redacted by police.

Worst. Burglars. Ever.


"Man robs Wade gas station of cash, bread and bag of pork skins." 

This one was sent to me for special inclusion in Crime Time from a friend/reader. You can check out the story here, but the headline pretty much says it all. I hope those pork skins were worth it, dirt bag! You are a MENACE to the pork product industry and we will not stand for this injustice!! I mean, what's next? Bacon? Oh NO you do not!!

And now a couple to make you feel a little warm and fuzzy (and possibly restore some of your faith in humanity... but probably not).
 
An officer was flagged down by a bicyclist in the median at 27th Street and Sycamore Avenue to assist a duck and her ducklings across the street at 12:50 p.m. May 1. The officer helped move the ducks to a pond.

Police received a call for assistance about 2:25 p.m. May 11 after a mother duck and her ducklings got stuck in a median while attempting to cross the road in the 7500 block of West Rawson Avenue. The ducks were no longer in the area when an officer arrived.

A resident called police to report a duckling fell into a sewer near the pond behind Pick 'n Save on Sylvan Circle and Squire Drive at 6:55 p.m. May 11. The duckling was removed from the sewer and reunited with ducks that were waiting near the scene.