Friday, December 28, 2012

Christmas 2012 : A Christmas Gripe

I'm not one of those ungrateful a-holes who is going to gripe about their presents. I loved my gifts, and I'm so thankful for each and every one of them! And I'm also not going to gripe about not getting gifts from everyone I've ever known in my entire life. I don't care. If you wanted to get me something and you did, that's awesome. If you didn't, that's cool, too! 

No, my gripe, unfortunately, has to do with my family. Once again, I will say that I love my family. Dearly. I love hanging out with you all and having fun together. I love spending Christmas surrounded by those I love! But you know what I don't love on Christmas? Being pressured to have kids.

I know you all want a baby in the family. I get it. I just became an aunt rather recently, and I have another niece or nephew on the way, and I'm totally psyched about it!! So I feel you. But can you please respect the fact that my husband and I do not want children?

I was nice enough not to get overly sensitive about it on Christmas, but in case you want to know how I feel, here's what I wish I could have said.

Argument 1: "Your mom said the same thing!"
Response: Yes, I know. Allow me to point out that 1) I'm not actually my mother (regardless of how alike we can be) and 2) by my age, my parents had changed their minds. 

Argument 2: "That's what I said, too. You'll change your mind."
Response: Well, I think it's pretty common knowledge that some people's minds are sort of changed for them (unplanned pregnancy has a way of doing that). Just because your situation changed, doesn't mean mine is going to. However, should I someday change my mind, that decision is up to me and my husband. Period. No one else's input is going to play a significant role in that.

Argument 3: "Don't you want your mom to have grandkids?"
Response: Of course I do. But if I did everything in my life because someone else wanted me to, I wouldn't be a very happy person, would I? Besides, my mom has a granddog (that she loves very much) and gets to play with kids as part of her job. I don't think I'm depriving her too badly.

Argument 4: "We need a baby in the family!"
Response: Really? Babies grow up, so even if I decided to have a kid, you'd only have a baby in the family for a short time, because I'm not about to turn into a baby factory. Besides, people all over are having babies. Odds are someone in your life will have one in the foreseeable future, so I think you'll be OK.

Again, I love you all dearly, but whether you're friends, family or complete strangers, your opinions on my reproductive habits are not going to get me to just start popping out kids. I don't want kids. Nor does Hubby. If we change our minds someday, then so be it, but don't assume that we will or try to talk us into it. I know a lot of it's in jest, but it gets really old, really quickly, and can make a fun time turn sour. 

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