Well, I'd say I've been missing quite long enough. Here I am. Bask in my... here-ness?
So, I wrote these pretty heavy/serious/unhappy posts and then I disappeared. What gives? It took a lot out of me to write all of that, and I guess I just needed a break before coming back to explain.
I have 3 main reasons for writing those posts. The first is completely selfish: it was therapeutic. My closer friends already knew most of what I went through (or, at least the parts they were around for), but I haven't talked much about any of it in a long time. When something like that sits inside of you, it feels kind of like a bowling ball sitting in your stomach. (OK, maybe something smaller, but you get my point.) Writing about it and getting it all out there felt so good.
The second reason (slightly less selfish) is to share my gratitude. I was (and still am!) lucky to have people in my life who loved me and cared enough about me to take some action. Not everyone is so lucky, and I'm utterly grateful to everyone who has touched - and saved - my life. Without some of you, I couldn't have become who I am today.
The third reason is (I hope) the least selfish and most important. There are people out there with stories like mine who should know that they aren't alone and that it can get better. It doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't happen without some effort, but it can happen.
If my story can touch one person, I've achieved more than I could ever hope for. My pursuit of a degree in Psychology isn't just because I find it interesting, but because I want to use it to change a world. Not necessarily the world, but a world.
What's the difference? The world is a big freakin' place. It's a whole planet. With billions upon billions of people, each with his own issues, worries, dreams, regrets, and everything else. A world is much smaller, more personal. My world, for example, encompasses me, my friends and family, and the things I cherish most in life. Many people have helped change my world, and in return, I want to help change some other world.
Maybe I'll help change one person's world. Maybe I'll help change a community's world. Maybe I truly will help change THE world. The best I can do is try.
Have a beautiful Memorial Day weekend, lovelies! <3