You might recall that I'm a bit of a music freak. You might also remember that I've already written a post about cover songs and how they aren't necessarily as terrible as everyone assumes. And it's also possible that you've read that I love me some Christmas music. Yes? OK.
Because of the nature of Christmas music, there are a LOT of covers out there. Most traditional songs don't really have an identifiable "original" version, and newer songs are still covered left and right because... well... Christmas! In other words, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Christmas cover. And that's OK.
Personally, I think there are some songs that are just meant to be covered, especially in the world of Christmas carols. A new take on a song can be a wonderful thing, and in some cases, it might make a less tolerable song something you actually enjoy listening to.
That being said, here are a couple of my favorite Christmas covers and what makes them so delightful.
1) "The Twelve Days of Christmas" as performed by Straight No Chaser. I previously wrote that the only version of this song I can listen to more than once a season is John Denver & The Muppets. Since that was written, though, I have discovered the magic of Straight No Chaser. (In fact, Hubby and I just saw them live this week for the first time! What an epic show they put on, too!) If you're looking for a traditional version of this song, then this isn't the version for you. But, if you're looking for a fun, goofy, new spin on it, you need to give it a listen. Now. On a related note, their version of "Wonderful Christmastime" with Sir Paul is also a great cover; not that I don't love the original, but there's something about a capella that just gets me, man.
2) "The Little Drummer Boy" as performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. Hubby and I were in the car last weekend and I heard the beginning of this song and went to turn the radio down, saying, "Yeah, I just can't get into this song. It's not one of my favorites." And then I realized it was the Bing and Bowie version and turned it back up going, "Except for this version, because this version is epic!" Hubby laughed and told me I couldn't even hate something right, which I decided to take as a compliment. Anywhoozles, before this special existed, if you had told someone that Bing Crosby and David Bowie would be doing a duet together, most peoples' heads would have exploded from the sheer insanity of the idea. And then it happened. I'm pretty sure some heads did explode, but the song that resulted from this strange pairing is beyond what anyone could have imagined.
3) "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings" as performed by Barenaked Ladies featuring Sarah McLachlan. OK, this is technically two songs, but whatever. The point is that BNL took a couple of fairly traditional (and maybe a bit stuffy) Christmas songs and made them pretty freakin' cool. Partnering up with Sarah was a pretty genius move, too. Her vocals give back a touch of the traditional feel without going completely backwards. I love it.
4) "My Grown-Up Christmas List" as performed by Michael Bublé. I'm pretty sure he just makes everything sound dreamier. Other versions tend to get on my nerves, but Michael can bring it home like no one else.
5) "All I Want For Christmas Is You" as performed by Mariah Carey featuring Jimmy Fallon & The Roots. Is it still a cover if the same artist is performing it? Whatever. The point is that this version makes my heart happy and makes me feel warm inside. If this doesn't say Christmas, I don't know what does.
And there you have it!
What Christmas covers make the season merry and bright for you? Let me know so I can add them to my Christmas playlist! :)
Friday, December 20, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
But How Do You REALLY Feel?
I'm going to assume that most people have asked for reassurance at some point in their lives. Asking a friend if an outfit looks good. Asking a coworker to look over something for you. Asking someone to wish you luck. It's a nice feeling to know that someone else believes in us, no matter how trivial it might seem.
But wanting reassurance from time to time is a lot different than needing constant reassurance. You know that friend or acquaintance that's always asking people things like, "We're friends, right?" or "You're sure you like hanging out with me?" The person that seems to be forever fishing for compliments or positivity; talking about how terrible her singing voice is or how he'll never find a significant other. The person that you really did like once upon a time, but all of the negativity and neediness has just gotten to be too much and you're not as sure anymore.
Yep. That's me. I am that person.
Or maybe it was me. I like to think I've grown past some of that, but I do find myself with that itch for someone to tell me I'm doing a good job or that I'm as funny as I think I am. It's a hard habit to break. And it's a possible risk factor for depression.
Ru Paul is famous for saying, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" This is more like, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell is anybody else gonna love you?"
When you have low self-esteem, believing in yourself is pretty much impossible. Or at least it felt that way to me. So I went looking for other people to believe in me. And while I loved the reassurance and praise, the positive feelings I took away never lasted. I was constantly wondering if the reassurance had been genuine. Did they really mean it, or did they say it to be nice? And for that matter, do they even really like me or are they just putting up with me? How could I know for sure?
And so I kept asking. I'm sure to a lot of people it seemed like I was purely fishing for compliments, but it was beyond that. Pardon the cliche, but it's like an addiction in some ways. You go looking for the reassurance. You get some and it feels good. So good! But only for awhile. Then you come down and you feel worse than you did before. You need MORE reassurance. So you go looking for more, and the cycle repeats.
At a certain point, your questions become ridiculous. Even after someone has reassured you, you ask, "Are you sure? Is that how you REALLY feel?" And my bet is that gets old REALLY fast. Logic told me that if people were willingly hanging out with me, they were friends. If they confided in me, shared things with me, they were good friends. Maybe even best friends. But depression kicks logic to the curb. I would start wondering if particular friends really liked me, or if it was something else. Convenience, maybe. Or just being nice. Or maybe they needed or wanted something from me (though, I couldn't imagine what, since I thought I had nothing to offer). I thought K (yes, my "sister") was only my friend because we've known each other my whole life. I thought Bestie was just being nice to me. Hell, I even thought Hubby was just trying to be a nice guy and cheer me up when we first started dating.
Even now I struggle from time to time. It's impossible to know exactly how someone else feels about you; you can't read minds (much as you might try). Some people are going to lie or sugarcoat things. But for the most part, if you consider someone a good friend and you genuinely like them, there's a good chance the feeling is mutual. I know that my sister doesn't just put up with me. I know that Bestie is one of the best friends I've ever had. And I know that Hubby loves me to no end. I know this because it's how I feel about them. And unless they ever give me a reason to doubt that, I'm going to choose to keep believing it.
So piggybacking on my last post, if you know a habitual reassurance-seeker (or if you are one), don't assume they're just attention whores. Some of them are. It happens. But if you see some other potential symptoms of depression or low self-esteem, they may just need to be reminded that they ARE worth something. And they might need a nudge, push, or shove toward a long-term fix. You can't be there to reassure them 100% of the time, but you can be a friend 100% of the time.
But wanting reassurance from time to time is a lot different than needing constant reassurance. You know that friend or acquaintance that's always asking people things like, "We're friends, right?" or "You're sure you like hanging out with me?" The person that seems to be forever fishing for compliments or positivity; talking about how terrible her singing voice is or how he'll never find a significant other. The person that you really did like once upon a time, but all of the negativity and neediness has just gotten to be too much and you're not as sure anymore.
Yep. That's me. I am that person.
Or maybe it was me. I like to think I've grown past some of that, but I do find myself with that itch for someone to tell me I'm doing a good job or that I'm as funny as I think I am. It's a hard habit to break. And it's a possible risk factor for depression.
Ru Paul is famous for saying, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" This is more like, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell is anybody else gonna love you?"
When you have low self-esteem, believing in yourself is pretty much impossible. Or at least it felt that way to me. So I went looking for other people to believe in me. And while I loved the reassurance and praise, the positive feelings I took away never lasted. I was constantly wondering if the reassurance had been genuine. Did they really mean it, or did they say it to be nice? And for that matter, do they even really like me or are they just putting up with me? How could I know for sure?
And so I kept asking. I'm sure to a lot of people it seemed like I was purely fishing for compliments, but it was beyond that. Pardon the cliche, but it's like an addiction in some ways. You go looking for the reassurance. You get some and it feels good. So good! But only for awhile. Then you come down and you feel worse than you did before. You need MORE reassurance. So you go looking for more, and the cycle repeats.
At a certain point, your questions become ridiculous. Even after someone has reassured you, you ask, "Are you sure? Is that how you REALLY feel?" And my bet is that gets old REALLY fast. Logic told me that if people were willingly hanging out with me, they were friends. If they confided in me, shared things with me, they were good friends. Maybe even best friends. But depression kicks logic to the curb. I would start wondering if particular friends really liked me, or if it was something else. Convenience, maybe. Or just being nice. Or maybe they needed or wanted something from me (though, I couldn't imagine what, since I thought I had nothing to offer). I thought K (yes, my "sister") was only my friend because we've known each other my whole life. I thought Bestie was just being nice to me. Hell, I even thought Hubby was just trying to be a nice guy and cheer me up when we first started dating.
Even now I struggle from time to time. It's impossible to know exactly how someone else feels about you; you can't read minds (much as you might try). Some people are going to lie or sugarcoat things. But for the most part, if you consider someone a good friend and you genuinely like them, there's a good chance the feeling is mutual. I know that my sister doesn't just put up with me. I know that Bestie is one of the best friends I've ever had. And I know that Hubby loves me to no end. I know this because it's how I feel about them. And unless they ever give me a reason to doubt that, I'm going to choose to keep believing it.
So piggybacking on my last post, if you know a habitual reassurance-seeker (or if you are one), don't assume they're just attention whores. Some of them are. It happens. But if you see some other potential symptoms of depression or low self-esteem, they may just need to be reminded that they ARE worth something. And they might need a nudge, push, or shove toward a long-term fix. You can't be there to reassure them 100% of the time, but you can be a friend 100% of the time.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Everybody Hurts Sometimes, But Nobody Should Hurt All the Time
Life has been busy since June 6th's post. Brief recap.
June: I turned 29. Hubby turned 30. K came home for the summer (a drive that I was lucky enough to help with again). Saw Barenaked Ladies at Summerfest.
July: Aside from the traditional July 4th festivities with K, not much in July. We did go camping (which was great) but I forgot batteries for my camera (which was NOT great). Hubby's cherished project car (the '81 Camaro) burned to the ground. Oh, saw Paul McCartney at Miller Park! That was epic.
August: Went to State Fair. Hubby and I went on vacation with the puppers (road trip to/from Medford, OR). Fall semester started at the end of August.
September: Hubby and I celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary (by going to the zoo, of course).
Sprinkle a few Brewers games, a lot of grilling out, and a few more zoo trips and you're pretty much caught up. Ta da!
The real reason I wanted to write today is that it's World Mental Health Day/National Depression Screening Day. Obviously I've written about my depression before, so I (hopefully) won't bore you by repeating myself too much.
Depression blows. Seriously. And it so frequently goes undiagnosed. Sometimes because people think what they're feeling is normal. Sometimes they don't recognize the symptoms. Sometimes they believe that it's something to be ashamed of, which is the saddest of all to me.
So, let's look at those 3 quick. (Yes, there are other reasons, but this is my blog. Deal.)
1) It's normal to feel like this. Sometimes, yes. Everyone feels sad sometimes. And sometimes we feel so sad, we refer to it as "depressed" (because I think we like to use longer, more complex words for more serious feelings... or maybe that's just me). If you feel down after an upsetting experience (a loss, maybe), that's "normal." (I usually hate the word normal, but hopefully you can see why i have to use it here.) It's normal to cry and hate the world and want to curl up under the covers until things get better. But what about those times when nothing all that bad has happened and you feel that way? What if it lasts for weeks or months at a time? Does that seem as normal? Doesn't that sound like it warrants looking into?
For example, when Hubby and I lived in our apartment (which now seems like AGES ago), I would have episodes of depression in which really (and I mean really) trivial things made me feel worse. I once dropped a box of macaroni on the floor and wound up sobbing and screaming over it, convinced I was an epic failure and couldn't do anything right. An appropriate reaction might've been swearing or being pissy about cleaning it up, but I had a breakdown. That's not "normal."
2) It's not like I want to kill myself or anything. Suicidal thoughts are only one possible symptom of depression. And you don't even have to want to actively kill yourself... you can want to die without wanting to take the action to do so. But even if you don't have thoughts about your own demise, there are a bunch of other symptoms that could indicate you have some kind of depressive disorder. Sleeping too much or too little. A major change in appetite. Having no energy or interest in doing things you usually enjoy. Feeling like you're worthless. Problems with concentrating and making decisions. Even physical things like unexplained aches and pains.
Right before I went back on fluoxetine in 2008, I was experiencing a lot of these other symptoms. I was sleeping every chance I got and was still exhausted. I wasn't motivated to get out of the apartment to do things, and I usually lacked the energy to do much anyway. I pretty much always thought I was worthless, and I let Hubby make as many decisions as possible; everything else I just kind of ignored. (What should I wear today? Meh. I'll stay in my pajamas.) Even though I didn't want to kill myself, I was definitely experiencing some depression.
3) I can't go to a therapist/doctor. I'm not crazy/sick or That would be so embarrassing. Newsflash: Therapy isn't just for the "crazies" anymore, friends. Even if you are completely free of mental illness, you probably still experience some stress and/or worry (and if you don't, please let me know because I'm pretty sure the scientific community would love to study you). And if this stress, worry, sadness, or whatever is at all impacting your life in a negative way, you could probably benefit from a visit to the doctor or therapist.
I took myself off of my medication when I was younger because I didn't want to have to rely on it to be myself. And I was (mostly) OK for awhile. But when an episode hit, I wasn't really prepared to handle it. These days, if I drop the macaroni now, I just curse, clean it up, and grab the next box or look for another option. My medication allows me to function like a normal person, and I wouldn't have the meds if I hadn't sought help. And while I'm not in therapy at the moment, I'm definitely not opposed to it! Certain therapies can be more effective than medication, particularly in the long run... it would be nice not to need the antidepressants for the rest of my life, but they work well for now.
So where do you start? Wherever you feel comfortable. You can do some research or take an assessment. You can talk to someone you trust, or make an appointment with your primary doctor. And if you need immediate help and don't know where to turn, don't forget that there's always someone to listen at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).
Well, I hope I didn't sound too much like a bad PSA, and I hope you took something away from it! If nothing else, please remember this: No matter how you're feeling, who you are, or what you're going through, there is someone out there to offer love and support. You're not alone. Hey, you've got me, right? :)
June: I turned 29. Hubby turned 30. K came home for the summer (a drive that I was lucky enough to help with again). Saw Barenaked Ladies at Summerfest.
July: Aside from the traditional July 4th festivities with K, not much in July. We did go camping (which was great) but I forgot batteries for my camera (which was NOT great). Hubby's cherished project car (the '81 Camaro) burned to the ground. Oh, saw Paul McCartney at Miller Park! That was epic.
August: Went to State Fair. Hubby and I went on vacation with the puppers (road trip to/from Medford, OR). Fall semester started at the end of August.
September: Hubby and I celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary (by going to the zoo, of course).
Sprinkle a few Brewers games, a lot of grilling out, and a few more zoo trips and you're pretty much caught up. Ta da!
The real reason I wanted to write today is that it's World Mental Health Day/National Depression Screening Day. Obviously I've written about my depression before, so I (hopefully) won't bore you by repeating myself too much.
Depression blows. Seriously. And it so frequently goes undiagnosed. Sometimes because people think what they're feeling is normal. Sometimes they don't recognize the symptoms. Sometimes they believe that it's something to be ashamed of, which is the saddest of all to me.
So, let's look at those 3 quick. (Yes, there are other reasons, but this is my blog. Deal.)
1) It's normal to feel like this. Sometimes, yes. Everyone feels sad sometimes. And sometimes we feel so sad, we refer to it as "depressed" (because I think we like to use longer, more complex words for more serious feelings... or maybe that's just me). If you feel down after an upsetting experience (a loss, maybe), that's "normal." (I usually hate the word normal, but hopefully you can see why i have to use it here.) It's normal to cry and hate the world and want to curl up under the covers until things get better. But what about those times when nothing all that bad has happened and you feel that way? What if it lasts for weeks or months at a time? Does that seem as normal? Doesn't that sound like it warrants looking into?
For example, when Hubby and I lived in our apartment (which now seems like AGES ago), I would have episodes of depression in which really (and I mean really) trivial things made me feel worse. I once dropped a box of macaroni on the floor and wound up sobbing and screaming over it, convinced I was an epic failure and couldn't do anything right. An appropriate reaction might've been swearing or being pissy about cleaning it up, but I had a breakdown. That's not "normal."
2) It's not like I want to kill myself or anything. Suicidal thoughts are only one possible symptom of depression. And you don't even have to want to actively kill yourself... you can want to die without wanting to take the action to do so. But even if you don't have thoughts about your own demise, there are a bunch of other symptoms that could indicate you have some kind of depressive disorder. Sleeping too much or too little. A major change in appetite. Having no energy or interest in doing things you usually enjoy. Feeling like you're worthless. Problems with concentrating and making decisions. Even physical things like unexplained aches and pains.
Right before I went back on fluoxetine in 2008, I was experiencing a lot of these other symptoms. I was sleeping every chance I got and was still exhausted. I wasn't motivated to get out of the apartment to do things, and I usually lacked the energy to do much anyway. I pretty much always thought I was worthless, and I let Hubby make as many decisions as possible; everything else I just kind of ignored. (What should I wear today? Meh. I'll stay in my pajamas.) Even though I didn't want to kill myself, I was definitely experiencing some depression.
3) I can't go to a therapist/doctor. I'm not crazy/sick or That would be so embarrassing. Newsflash: Therapy isn't just for the "crazies" anymore, friends. Even if you are completely free of mental illness, you probably still experience some stress and/or worry (and if you don't, please let me know because I'm pretty sure the scientific community would love to study you). And if this stress, worry, sadness, or whatever is at all impacting your life in a negative way, you could probably benefit from a visit to the doctor or therapist.
I took myself off of my medication when I was younger because I didn't want to have to rely on it to be myself. And I was (mostly) OK for awhile. But when an episode hit, I wasn't really prepared to handle it. These days, if I drop the macaroni now, I just curse, clean it up, and grab the next box or look for another option. My medication allows me to function like a normal person, and I wouldn't have the meds if I hadn't sought help. And while I'm not in therapy at the moment, I'm definitely not opposed to it! Certain therapies can be more effective than medication, particularly in the long run... it would be nice not to need the antidepressants for the rest of my life, but they work well for now.
So where do you start? Wherever you feel comfortable. You can do some research or take an assessment. You can talk to someone you trust, or make an appointment with your primary doctor. And if you need immediate help and don't know where to turn, don't forget that there's always someone to listen at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).
Well, I hope I didn't sound too much like a bad PSA, and I hope you took something away from it! If nothing else, please remember this: No matter how you're feeling, who you are, or what you're going through, there is someone out there to offer love and support. You're not alone. Hey, you've got me, right? :)
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Crime Time: Girls Just Want to Be Dumb
So this is clearly turning into a Thursday post. Sorry about that, but some of the reports aren't updated until sometime on Wednesday.
Anywhoozles, here we go!
Some of this week's best come to us from some very special ladies...
A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for fraud after attempting to have a fraudulent prescription filled at Walgreens, 6020 W. Brown Deer Road, at 9 p.m. May 23. She said the prescription for Promethazine with codeine cough syrup was for her nephew. This cough syrup is often mixed with Mountain Dew or Sprite to make "Purple Drank" a drink that causes people to get high.
Your nephew. Right. Seems legit.
A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling and using profanities at Great Clips, 8689 N. Port Washington Road, at 4:50 p.m. May 23. The woman was angry, she said, because she couldn't get "a perm." She frightened other customers and two young children who were in the salon. She drove away but was stopped.
Honestly, they were just trying to save her from herself...
A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling and using profanities while in the drive-thru and inside McDonald's, 8737 N. Port Washington Road, at 2 p.m. May 26. The woman was in the drive-thru while on the phone and when asked either to order or move on yelled "Shut the (expletive) up" to the employee. She then parked her car and went inside where she continued yelling. When another employee asked her to be quiet she said, "I'm a grown person and can speak how I (expletive) want."
What the (expletive), man? This is a grown (expletive) person! How dare you ask her to be quiet, you (expletive)!
A woman, age and residence not released, was cited for disorderly conduct in the 1100 block of East Capitol Drive at 10:15 p.m. May 26. The woman, riding her bicycle on the sidewalk, stopped and started yelling profanities and making obscene gestures.
While it was probably the profanity and obscene gestures that did her in, I think Hubby might argue that worst part of this crime was that she was riding on the sidewalk.
An officer who pulled a vehicle over after observing it had only three functioning tires and was smoking from under the hood arrested the female driver for drunken driving on Main Street and Pilgrim Road at 4:22 a.m. May 29. After taking the woman into custody, the officer found two lorazepam tablets in her possession and she was also arrested for possession of illegally obtained prescription medication. Her blood alcohol content was unavailable.
All kinds of special. ALL kinds.
Now, don't worry, fellas. We've got some for you, too!
A man, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling profanities inside Kopp's, 5373 N. Port Washington Road, at 4:30 p.m. June 1. The man became angry when he tried to order a shake and was told he had to get into another line. He then yelled and screamed with children present and also threatened an employee. He fled on a motor scooter but was stopped telling police he had "anger issues."
Though they seem fun, and it might sound like a good idea at the time, remember that motor scooters don't make good getaway vehicles. (Though in his defense, if I'd already stood in line and then got told I had to stand in another line just to get my damn shake, I'd be pretty pissed off, too.)
Two unidentified people took several bushes from Aldi, 4615 W. Layton Ave., on May 28 and drove off.
Two weeks ago it was trees and dirt. Last week it was gardening tools. Now it's bushes. Someone's going to have a lovely evil lair when all is said and done!
A man was arrested for aggravated battery at a home in the 7200 block of South Shepard Avenue after he threw a pair of grass shears at a woman, causing a 2.5-inch cut on her left wrist and a 1-inch cut on her left thumb that required stitches at 8:40 a.m. May 27. The man was angry because the woman told him to clean up food he had left on a patio deck.
That's a totally normal reaction, right? No? Shit... I've been going about things all wrong then!
A resident at an apartment building at 2613 University Drive called police at 4:47 p.m. May 29 to say his neighbor took his dog's feces from the woods near the complex and put it on his doorstep with a note stating clean up after your dog. The caller said he feels he does not need to clean up the feces because he hasn't for three years and thinks his neighbor is harassing him. Police advised him he does need to clean up after his dog. The neighbor was advised on leaving feces and profane notes.
Admitting you haven't been cleaning up your dog's shit for the past 3 years isn't the best way to start your defense. Honesty is a good policy, but silence is also golden...
And my favorite one this week:
A resident reported that a couch she had put outside her home for anyone to take was sitting in Greenlawn Park, in the 7700 block of South Howell Avenue, at 12:50 p.m. May 26. An officer spoke to a man who was sleeping on the couch, who said he didn't think anyone wanted the couch and decided to take it to the park to take a nap. The couch was moved back to the residence so it could be picked up by the Street Department.
It was there for the taking! No one specified WHERE to take it, right? The guy wanted a nap and there was a free couch; who wouldn't take advantage of that sweet deal?!
Anywhoozles, here we go!
Some of this week's best come to us from some very special ladies...
A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for fraud after attempting to have a fraudulent prescription filled at Walgreens, 6020 W. Brown Deer Road, at 9 p.m. May 23. She said the prescription for Promethazine with codeine cough syrup was for her nephew. This cough syrup is often mixed with Mountain Dew or Sprite to make "Purple Drank" a drink that causes people to get high.
Your nephew. Right. Seems legit.
A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling and using profanities at Great Clips, 8689 N. Port Washington Road, at 4:50 p.m. May 23. The woman was angry, she said, because she couldn't get "a perm." She frightened other customers and two young children who were in the salon. She drove away but was stopped.
Honestly, they were just trying to save her from herself...
A woman, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling and using profanities while in the drive-thru and inside McDonald's, 8737 N. Port Washington Road, at 2 p.m. May 26. The woman was in the drive-thru while on the phone and when asked either to order or move on yelled "Shut the (expletive) up" to the employee. She then parked her car and went inside where she continued yelling. When another employee asked her to be quiet she said, "I'm a grown person and can speak how I (expletive) want."
What the (expletive), man? This is a grown (expletive) person! How dare you ask her to be quiet, you (expletive)!
A woman, age and residence not released, was cited for disorderly conduct in the 1100 block of East Capitol Drive at 10:15 p.m. May 26. The woman, riding her bicycle on the sidewalk, stopped and started yelling profanities and making obscene gestures.
While it was probably the profanity and obscene gestures that did her in, I think Hubby might argue that worst part of this crime was that she was riding on the sidewalk.
An officer who pulled a vehicle over after observing it had only three functioning tires and was smoking from under the hood arrested the female driver for drunken driving on Main Street and Pilgrim Road at 4:22 a.m. May 29. After taking the woman into custody, the officer found two lorazepam tablets in her possession and she was also arrested for possession of illegally obtained prescription medication. Her blood alcohol content was unavailable.
All kinds of special. ALL kinds.
Now, don't worry, fellas. We've got some for you, too!
A man, age and residence not released, was arrested for disorderly conduct after yelling profanities inside Kopp's, 5373 N. Port Washington Road, at 4:30 p.m. June 1. The man became angry when he tried to order a shake and was told he had to get into another line. He then yelled and screamed with children present and also threatened an employee. He fled on a motor scooter but was stopped telling police he had "anger issues."
Though they seem fun, and it might sound like a good idea at the time, remember that motor scooters don't make good getaway vehicles. (Though in his defense, if I'd already stood in line and then got told I had to stand in another line just to get my damn shake, I'd be pretty pissed off, too.)
Two unidentified people took several bushes from Aldi, 4615 W. Layton Ave., on May 28 and drove off.
Two weeks ago it was trees and dirt. Last week it was gardening tools. Now it's bushes. Someone's going to have a lovely evil lair when all is said and done!
A man was arrested for aggravated battery at a home in the 7200 block of South Shepard Avenue after he threw a pair of grass shears at a woman, causing a 2.5-inch cut on her left wrist and a 1-inch cut on her left thumb that required stitches at 8:40 a.m. May 27. The man was angry because the woman told him to clean up food he had left on a patio deck.
That's a totally normal reaction, right? No? Shit... I've been going about things all wrong then!
A resident at an apartment building at 2613 University Drive called police at 4:47 p.m. May 29 to say his neighbor took his dog's feces from the woods near the complex and put it on his doorstep with a note stating clean up after your dog. The caller said he feels he does not need to clean up the feces because he hasn't for three years and thinks his neighbor is harassing him. Police advised him he does need to clean up after his dog. The neighbor was advised on leaving feces and profane notes.
Admitting you haven't been cleaning up your dog's shit for the past 3 years isn't the best way to start your defense. Honesty is a good policy, but silence is also golden...
And my favorite one this week:
A resident reported that a couch she had put outside her home for anyone to take was sitting in Greenlawn Park, in the 7700 block of South Howell Avenue, at 12:50 p.m. May 26. An officer spoke to a man who was sleeping on the couch, who said he didn't think anyone wanted the couch and decided to take it to the park to take a nap. The couch was moved back to the residence so it could be picked up by the Street Department.
It was there for the taking! No one specified WHERE to take it, right? The guy wanted a nap and there was a free couch; who wouldn't take advantage of that sweet deal?!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Crime Time: S-M-R-T
Because of the long weekend, some of the reports are still behind, so forgive me if this week's post is a little lacking.
A car with two passengers and Hello Kitty stickers on the back windows was observed pulling up and taking mail from a mailbox in the 17000 block of Martha Drive at 11:16 a.m. May 21.
Damn that Hello Kitty! She's clearly a bad influence.
Gardening tools and gloves were stolen from an open garage in the 3700 block of West Dory Drive between 1:45 p.m. and 3 p.m. May 20.
At least they were smart enough to steal the gloves, too. Clearly they have some serious gardening to get done!
Police are seeking a 33-year-old woman who shoplifted a total of $54 worth of groceries at Pick 'n Save, 7780 S. Lovers Lane Road, on three separate occasions between April 23 and May 4. The suspect was identified by her Advantage Card, which she swiped in the self-checkout lanes during each incident.
As a general rule, if you're planning to steal shit, you probably don't need to use your savings card.
Two 69-year-old Franklin men were arrested for disorderly conduct after they had a physical altercation in the 6800 block of South 109th Street at about 11 a.m. May 21. One of the men struck the other in the face with binoculars, and a scuffle ensued, resulting in both men sustaining minor injuries.
This sounds like an awesome sitcom waiting to happen. FOX, I'm looking at you...
A resident in the 5300 block of South 43rd Street called police at 12:10 p.m. May 24 to report she saw a bobcat in her yard during the past several nights. Police responded and saw no evidence of a bobcat in the resident's yard.
I live right around here, and the only bobcat you're likely to see is this kind. (Or possibly this kind, but even that's a long-shot.)
An officer who stopped to assist a disabled vehicle at 108th Street and Edgerton Avenue at 6:30 a.m. May 25 discovered the vehicle was not disabled but that the driver had stopped her car because she was deathly afraid of spiders and believed one was crawling on her hand. The officer assisted the driver by checking for spiders in the vehicle and she was sent on her way.
This sounds like something I would do. Actually, funny/true story for you all. When Hubby and I first started hanging out, we were driving around when a spider dropped down near him. He flipped his shit a little (who wouldn't?) and flung it out the window as fast as he could. That's when I knew I liked him. :)
A 21-year-old Palmyra man was arrested for drunken driving, possession of drug paraphernalia, open intoxicants, suspended registration, not carrying a driver's license, failure to have insurance and unsafe lane deviation in the 14400 block of Interstate 43 at 6:10 a.m. May 19. The man failed to stop for more than 10 minutes while he was followed by a squad car. An open bottle of rum was found in the car along with a pipe and jar both with marijuana residue and an orange pill which is being tested. The man, who admitted the marijuana and paraphernalia were his, said he was "just a pot head." He also told police he had just purchased the pipe and asked if he could have it back. His blood alcohol content was 0.14.
Telling the cops you're "just a pot head" is probably not the best defense after you've been driving under the influence without your license or insurance (and while having a suspended registration), but points for the attempt to get the newly purchased pipe back. I mean, it's never gonna happen, but I like the effort. Go big or go to jail. Or both.
A 76 year-old man and a 73-old woman both of Mequon were cited for disorderly conduct at an apartment complex in the 10800 block of North Port Washington Road about noon May 22. The man said the woman insulted him, saying he needed a bath and should cut his dog's toenails. The woman said he pushed and grabbed her. After they were cited, they were told not to talk to each other. However, later that day about 5 p.m. the man reportedly spoke to the woman and was issued another citation.
Telling someone they need a bath is a legitimate insult, but that his dog's toenails needed to be cut? Leave the dog out of this, ma'am.
Officers responded to Mainstay Suites, 1001 W. College Ave., after the front desk clerk reported there was a woman in the parking lot who was too drunk to walk at 4:55 a.m. May 18. While officers were enroute to the hotel, the clerk called back and stated that a man just wheeled the woman through the lobby on a luggage cart and went into the elevator. An officer spoke to the man, who stated the woman was too heavy to lift without assistance, so he used a luggage trolley to take her back to the room. The man also told police he had taken the woman to senior prom in 1964 and was reuniting with her for the weekend.
Awww, how... sweet?
Police were dispatched to 725 American Ave. at 3:58 p.m. May 21 on a report of a suspicious package in the parking structure. It turned out to be an abandoned coffeemaker.
Yep. That happened. *facepalm*
A woman called police after someone tried using her debit card in Israel on May 13. She gave her information to set up what she thought would be a new AOL account but was on a site posing as AOL.
"New" and "AOL" shouldn't appear in any sentence together. At least, not since 1995.
A car with two passengers and Hello Kitty stickers on the back windows was observed pulling up and taking mail from a mailbox in the 17000 block of Martha Drive at 11:16 a.m. May 21.
Damn that Hello Kitty! She's clearly a bad influence.
Gardening tools and gloves were stolen from an open garage in the 3700 block of West Dory Drive between 1:45 p.m. and 3 p.m. May 20.
At least they were smart enough to steal the gloves, too. Clearly they have some serious gardening to get done!
Police are seeking a 33-year-old woman who shoplifted a total of $54 worth of groceries at Pick 'n Save, 7780 S. Lovers Lane Road, on three separate occasions between April 23 and May 4. The suspect was identified by her Advantage Card, which she swiped in the self-checkout lanes during each incident.
As a general rule, if you're planning to steal shit, you probably don't need to use your savings card.
Two 69-year-old Franklin men were arrested for disorderly conduct after they had a physical altercation in the 6800 block of South 109th Street at about 11 a.m. May 21. One of the men struck the other in the face with binoculars, and a scuffle ensued, resulting in both men sustaining minor injuries.
This sounds like an awesome sitcom waiting to happen. FOX, I'm looking at you...
A resident in the 5300 block of South 43rd Street called police at 12:10 p.m. May 24 to report she saw a bobcat in her yard during the past several nights. Police responded and saw no evidence of a bobcat in the resident's yard.
I live right around here, and the only bobcat you're likely to see is this kind. (Or possibly this kind, but even that's a long-shot.)
An officer who stopped to assist a disabled vehicle at 108th Street and Edgerton Avenue at 6:30 a.m. May 25 discovered the vehicle was not disabled but that the driver had stopped her car because she was deathly afraid of spiders and believed one was crawling on her hand. The officer assisted the driver by checking for spiders in the vehicle and she was sent on her way.
This sounds like something I would do. Actually, funny/true story for you all. When Hubby and I first started hanging out, we were driving around when a spider dropped down near him. He flipped his shit a little (who wouldn't?) and flung it out the window as fast as he could. That's when I knew I liked him. :)
A 21-year-old Palmyra man was arrested for drunken driving, possession of drug paraphernalia, open intoxicants, suspended registration, not carrying a driver's license, failure to have insurance and unsafe lane deviation in the 14400 block of Interstate 43 at 6:10 a.m. May 19. The man failed to stop for more than 10 minutes while he was followed by a squad car. An open bottle of rum was found in the car along with a pipe and jar both with marijuana residue and an orange pill which is being tested. The man, who admitted the marijuana and paraphernalia were his, said he was "just a pot head." He also told police he had just purchased the pipe and asked if he could have it back. His blood alcohol content was 0.14.
Telling the cops you're "just a pot head" is probably not the best defense after you've been driving under the influence without your license or insurance (and while having a suspended registration), but points for the attempt to get the newly purchased pipe back. I mean, it's never gonna happen, but I like the effort. Go big or go to jail. Or both.
A 76 year-old man and a 73-old woman both of Mequon were cited for disorderly conduct at an apartment complex in the 10800 block of North Port Washington Road about noon May 22. The man said the woman insulted him, saying he needed a bath and should cut his dog's toenails. The woman said he pushed and grabbed her. After they were cited, they were told not to talk to each other. However, later that day about 5 p.m. the man reportedly spoke to the woman and was issued another citation.
Telling someone they need a bath is a legitimate insult, but that his dog's toenails needed to be cut? Leave the dog out of this, ma'am.
Officers responded to Mainstay Suites, 1001 W. College Ave., after the front desk clerk reported there was a woman in the parking lot who was too drunk to walk at 4:55 a.m. May 18. While officers were enroute to the hotel, the clerk called back and stated that a man just wheeled the woman through the lobby on a luggage cart and went into the elevator. An officer spoke to the man, who stated the woman was too heavy to lift without assistance, so he used a luggage trolley to take her back to the room. The man also told police he had taken the woman to senior prom in 1964 and was reuniting with her for the weekend.
Awww, how... sweet?
Police were dispatched to 725 American Ave. at 3:58 p.m. May 21 on a report of a suspicious package in the parking structure. It turned out to be an abandoned coffeemaker.
Yep. That happened. *facepalm*
A woman called police after someone tried using her debit card in Israel on May 13. She gave her information to set up what she thought would be a new AOL account but was on a site posing as AOL.
"New" and "AOL" shouldn't appear in any sentence together. At least, not since 1995.
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