A Tale of Two MRIs, Part 4: 'Tis a Puzzlement

Recap

Seeing as it has been so long, you're probably better off just skimming through Parts 1, 2, and/or 3. But since that's sort of a shit-ton of reading, thanks to my long-windedness, here's your TL;DR version:

• I've had this bump/growth/whatever along my jaw for at least a decade. No pain or anything, just kind of... there.
• In August 2017, I thought it got bigger, so I brought it up with my dentist.
• Several scans/tests/specialists later, I didn't really get any answers, but the overall consensus was that it didn't look bad, so... Everything's probably good?

Moving on...

Lord, a lot has changed and happened since I last wrote about this. What happened immediately following Part 3 is not nearly so fresh in my mind, but let's see what I can recall.

My second of the two MRIs in this tale took place at a nearby hospital since my normal doctor's office wasn't equipped for what needed to be done. My mom was nice enough to come in from Madison to go with me so I wouldn't be alone again. Just knowing she was in the waiting area put me a little more at ease during the process, which made it easier to get through. 

What lump?

What DIDN'T make it so easy to get through was the guy running my MRI. He decided that since I was going to have to do both with and without contrast dye, he'd just go ahead and put the IV port in from the beginning. In Part 3, I mentioned how my veins like to hide and only the best of the best seem to be able to locate them... This dude was NOT the best of the best and ended up going through the back of my hand. So I had to lie there the WHOLE TIME with the damn thing sticking out of my hand, even though the dye didn't go in until about 2/3 of the way through. To say it was uncomfortable would be accurate; it actually started to hurt after a while and I had this tender, bruised lump where it had been for a day or two after the MRI. Ow.

The rest of the MRI wasn't terribly memorable. Once it was done, I got back into my street clothes and grabbed my mom to go. We managed to get lost in the labyrinth that is the basement of Aurora St. Luke's but eventually got some assistance from a staff member who could quite clearly tell we were from out of town and took pity on us. Thank you, kind stranger!

I can't tell you much more about that experience except to say that the results were apparently pretty blah. My doctor was not at all concerned about whatever the MRI was for in the first place, so... yay? A "clear" MRI comes with mixed emotions, in my experience. On the one hand, there's an incredible sense of relief that nothing out of sorts was discovered. On the other hand, WTF? I just spent a decent chunk of money on these tests (not to mention my PTO) just for someone to tell me that whatever they saw wasn't noteworthy after all. Cool.

After that experience, I put the lump/bump/fascinoma out of my mind for quite some time. Right up until about 2 months ago when I thought I felt it growing again. What. The. Actual. Fuck? Fine. This time I decided I'd go straight to the source. I called up the oral surgeon's office and asked if I needed a referral. I did, so I sent a message over to my doctor's office and had a referral by the end of the day.

I went back to see the surgeon and got a couple new CT scans for good measure. He poked around a bit, took a picture of it (that I'm glad I never got to see; not my most flattering angle), and sent all the info to another specialist. A week later, I went back in to see what we had learned. And... nada. We still had no idea what it was. So we scheduled me for surgery! Huzzah!

Boo, Facebook. BOO.

These days, I live alone (well, not ALONE alone - I still have the doggos), so I had to figure out transportation. Luckily, my parents are pretty awesome and they said they would come into town to chauffeur me to and from (since, you know, driving on Valium is frowned upon). They even came in the night before and treated me to dinner (free food!), so that was a win-win. That same night, my ex stopped by to pick up the dogs so I wouldn't have to try to care for them while recovering. The apartment was so very quiet without them, but once I took the Valium, I was pretty chill about everything. Apparently, the stuff makes me feel "fuzzy" which I found terribly amusing, especially the next morning when I took my second pill and Facebook told me that fuzzy wasn't a real feeling.

My surgery went well, though I remember next to none of the experience. I was under moderate sedation, but my family has kind of a thing for getting completely knocked out no matter how "moderate" the sedation. I know I got an IV (in my hand, sigh) and I was trying to breathe deeply just to calm my own nerves. The next thing I really remember is setting up a follow-up appointment (which I managed to get into my phone's calendar... correctly!) and heading out to the car. I texted a few people quickly on the ride to let them know I was out and doing well, and I even snapped a selfie or two for good measure.

Thumbs up!

When we got home, I hung my purse up and put my keys in the key bowl, a feat that was made possible either due to the recent practice of consistent adulting and self-sufficiency or my OCD, but nonetheless impressed my mom. I headed straight for my bed and crashed for a few hours.

My mom had originally wanted to take me back to Madison with them for the weekend, but once I had napped, I was pretty self-sufficient, just tired and sore. That's the nice thing about oral surgery - it hurts, but it doesn't really impede your movement. Eating... well, that's another story. Suffice it to say I lived off of ice cream and ice cream products for a good 24-48 hours (the horror!). Regardless, I was clearly capable of taking care of myself, so my parents headed back to Madison and left me to my own devices.

I could barely contain
my excitement

Surgery was early on Friday morning, so I spent the weekend (Friday afternoon through Sunday) having a Harry Potter marathon since I'd be missing a HP-themed Halloween party that Saturday (and I was under orders to "take it easy" for the weekend). I made it through all 8 movies and even had some company for one of them. :)

Otherwise, I was basically just a big, lazy blob on my couch. I went to pick up the dogs on Sunday night (and I will say that not having to take care of them also made it a lot easier to just chill for the weekend - I actually got to sleep in!) and was back to my regularly scheduled program on Monday. Not too shabby!

As for the results of said surgery? Doc's still calling it a fascinoma.

Here's the official diagnosis:

"Sections show multiple fragments of fibro-granulation tissue demonstrating a focal area of either bone or cementum embedded within one of the fragments and
a focus of refractile foreign material in another fragment."

Basically, there was a tiny piece of bone or something similar (like the acrylic they use in orthodontics), as well as some unidentifiable material, embedded in the tissue. Whenever I thought it was "growing" the tissue was likely irritated and becoming inflamed (as suggested by the abscess also present at the time of surgery). Doc's best guess is that something from my days of orthodontia got trapped in there and just kind of hung around for funsies, but we'll never really know for sure.

'Tis a puzzlement indeed. 

Here Comes Valentine's, Here Comes Valentine's, Right Down Valentine Lane

How come there aren't very many Valentine's Day songs?  I mean, are there any that are specifically dedicated to the holiday?  I know, all love songs are applicable on V-Day, and it gets mentioned in some songs, but Christmas gets a bajillion songs.  Halloween gets some pretty awesome ones.  Hell, even Thanksgiving gets "Over the River and Through the Woods"!  Best I can come up with is "My Funny Valentine" and if you really listen, it's actually kind of a mean song.  "Well, you're not very pretty or smart, but dammit, I love ya!"  Gee... Thanks.

Anywhoozles, it seems that in last year's Valentine's-related post, I neglected to share my awesome Heart Day traditions with you lovely people!  What was I thinking??  CLEARLY you're all on the edge of your seats, so here goes.

Warning:  There's going to be some talk about my lady parts.  If you're easily offended (and you'd have to be REALLY easily offended; I'm not going into great detail here), then skip this and have a great day.

On our very first Valentine's Day together, I had an appointment for a colposcopy.  Ladies, if you've ever had an abnormal pap smear, it's possible you know what I'm talking about.  For everyone else, it's a diagnostic procedure where they essentially stick a camera up your hoo-ha to get a look at your cervix.  The procedure itself isn't much different than a pap (a little more "personal" since they have to actually look around a bit), but if they don't like what they see, they might biopsy part of the cervix.  Because of this, they tell you that you might be sore for a day or two and should probably take it fairly easy (in other words, no sex) for about a week.  

Thankfully, they didn't deem a biopsy necessary in my case.  They did ask if I wanted to see what the camera was showing, but I declined.  I figured if it was all good, I didn't really need to see for myself.  They're the pros.  I'll take their word for it.

Even though there wasn't a biopsy, I was in some discomfort for the rest of the day, and was pretty glad to have taken the whole day off.  When Hubby got off of work, he drove the hour and a half to come spend Valentine's evening with me, knowing that I had to take it easy and wasn't feeling 100%. 

So how did we spend that evening?  We ordered Chinese food and watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's" together.  Every year since, we've had some variation on that, and we consider it our tradition.  Sometimes we mix it up and go out for Chinese, or maybe we'll go to the theatre to catch a flick, but more often, we order takeout and watch a DVD at home.  It's simple, but it's one of my favorite traditions.

Oh, and for that first V-Day 6 years ago, he baked me a cake.  OK, so it was sorta falling apart, but it was so sweet!  Yeah, I found me a keeper. 

P.S.  Look to the right of this post and you'll see an opportunity to donate to the Humane Society by voting for Miss Maxine.  Check it out! :)