Aftermath

Well, here we are. 

It's November 9th. The election is over. Donald Trump has won and will become our next president. 

Am I happy about this? Not particularly. Am I worried by the outcome? A bit, yes. Do I feel regret over how I voted? Not at all.

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm well aware that I - along with all other third party voters - am going to be blamed by some for the outcome of this election. In fact, it has already begun. Here's a sampling of what I'm seeing from people on my own Facebook friends list:

"How are you feeling, third party voters?"

"I blame... 3rd party voters."

"If you voted 3rd party... shame on you."

"If you voted for Johnson, just smack yourself - why bother voting?"

There's more, mostly in the form of memes and shared posts, but the general consensus re: third party voting is that I should feel terrible, shamed, and shouldn't have even voted.

And now, my response.

How am I feeling? I'm OK, thanks. Not great, mind you, but I'm hanging in there. I really thought Gary could get to 5%, so I'm definitely upset that he didn't, that there's no guarantee that 2020 will be any different. And I can't say I'm really looking forward to Trump's presidency, but it will be interesting to see where this takes us as a country. I want to see how people step up to fight against, or support, a Republican-run America. There is so much anger and sadness today, and that hurts my heart, but I also hope it pushes people to take action (appropriate, positive, non-dangerous action). Our votes are our voices, and last I saw, Hillary edged past Trump in the popular vote. That means that more people voted for Hillary, more people's voices screamed her name and wanted her leadership, yet Trump becomes our president-elect. This is how the system works, and clearly a LOT of people are not happy with that. So speak up about it. Keep using your voices until you are heard.

I will accept your blame if it helps keep the peace. I shouldn't accept it; I'm not truly to blame. You think that if I hadn't voted for Gary Johnson that surely my vote would have been for HRC, and that's why you're blaming me. You believe my vote would have helped your candidate, and that Johnson stole my vote away. Here's the thing about that: It's simply not true. Hillary never had my vote. Nor did Trump. Had they been the only two choices, I would have abstained from voting completely. Are there people out there who might have voted for Clinton if a third party option hadn't been available? Sure. But I'm not one of them. Nor is my Hubby. Many of us would have preferred to NOT vote rather than vote for "your" candidate. So you can blame me all you want, and I'll take it. I'll shoulder that for now because you're hurting and upset, because - particularly if you're my friend or family - I love you and I'm willing to do that if it will help ease the pain. 

Accepting your blame is one thing, but I refuse to feel ashamed of my vote. By telling me I should be ashamed of myself or by trying to shame me for my choice feels no different than bullying. Shaming me for voting for someone I believe in and admire? Shaming me for using MY vote for MY voice? Shaming me for not voting YOUR way? I've been raised to believe that voting is a duty and an honor. If I had voted any other way, I would have been doing myself and my country a disservice by letting my voice be silenced by those who are now trying to shame me. I voted for the person I truly felt was best suited for the role of president. In doing so, I have done nothing shameful or of which to be ashamed. I've taken your blame, but keep your shame. You may need it.

I "bothered" to vote because it's my right as a citizen of this country. Just as it is your right to vote for HRC, it is my right to vote for Gary Johnson. When I say, "Get out and vote!" what I mean is "Get out and vote!" Apparently, when some of you said "Get out and vote!" what you meant was "Get out and vote for my candidate!" You made it sound like you were encouraging me to exercise my right, but my right is to vote for whomever I choose. And yes, it is also your right to (try to) blame me and shame me for my decision. You are using your voice to convey your disgust and desperation, and you are entitled to do so. But here's a question for you to consider: Why? Why chastise me for voting third party and not almost half of the country who actually voted for Trump? Why use your voice to beat me down instead of using it against the party you're actually against? Why ruin friendships and burn bridges when you could be embracing an opportunity to engage in dialogue and hear different views? I "bothered" to vote because I wanted things to change. Now that the results are in, might you agree with that?

Donald Trump will be our next president, but don't blame me... I voted for Johnson. 

Election Day Thoughts

Well, here we are. Election Day at last. Seems like it took FOREVER, right? 

No stickers for absentee voters.
I'm pretending this is mine.

Today, "I Voted" stickers will cover the country (or, at minimum, Susan B. Anthony's grave site), social media will take one last look at Ken Bone and his charming red sweater, and we the people will elect the next U.S. president. It's kind of a big deal.

As I've definitely made known, I voted for Gary Johnson. I've explained why I'm voting for him, but one thing I haven't really mentioned is this: I know he won't win. 

I'm not delusional. I've known from the very start that Gary had less than a snowball's chance in Haiti of becoming our next president*. And yet, I voted for him. Proudly so, I might add. 

Do you like your mom's posts
with that finger?

I voted for Gary knowing he wouldn't win. I voted for him knowing that I'm going to continue to hear that my vote was wasted. I voted for him knowing that I'll be blamed by some for the outcome of the election because somehow my vote for a third party candidate gave votes to, or took them away from, Mr. Trump or Ms. Clinton. I voted for him knowing that it was an unpopular position to take among my friends, and that some have chosen to hide my posts or unfriend me as a result. I voted for him knowing some people would get downright hostile about my decision and would probably think less of me because of it. 

 So knowing all of that, why did I do it?

Aleppo-shmaleppo, Gary's my guy!

I voted for Gary because I felt his voice best represented my own. I voted for him because I trusted in him over the other candidates. I voted for him because I believe he has this country's best interests in mind. I voted for him because the system isn't working the way I believe it should. I voted for him because I want him to reach the 5% mark so we are guaranteed more than two options in 2020. I voted for him because I wanted to vote FOR a candidate, not AGAINST one. I voted for him because when all is said and done, I will still feel good about myself and my vote. I voted for him because it was my vote to cast however I wanted, despite what others may think. I voted for him because it felt right for me.

I voted for Mr. Johnson because Ms. Clinton is well-spoken, polished, and prepared for the job, but she is a candidate I cannot trust. I voted for Mr. Johnson because Mr. Trump is bold, business-minded, and not afraid to shake things up, but he is a candidate I cannot respect. 

In the end, it doesn't really matter why I voted for Gary Johnson. Others who voted for him already understand and those who didn't aren't likely to care one way or another. But I have my reasons and I stand behind my decision.

I hope you stand behind yours as well.


*Yes, I meant Haiti, not Hades. The temps in Haiti are almost always in the 70s or 80s. This is not a place Frosty is going on vacation.

What's Done is Done

The Wisconsin recall elections are over.  Finally.  

And now, I have some things to say.

First - I didn't vote yesterday.  Nope.  Not the first time, probably not the last time.  

My reasons were different this time around.  Rather than feeling under informed, I felt like I'd been beaten to death with information: facts stated as opinions, opinions stated as facts, and mud-slinging to boot.  From both sides.  It was sickening.

Don't get me wrong.  I tried.  I really, honestly tried to take a side.  It felt like as soon as I was close to making a decision, something new came to light that made me back off and rethink the whole damn thing.  In the end, I couldn't justify voting when I couldn't decide who to vote for.

I managed to remain fairly silent about the whole ordeal.  Many of my friends were dead-set on recalling Walker.  Others stood behind him the whole way.  I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of things.  Why?  Because I was scared.

These days, I'm normally not too afraid to share my opinions, especially on here.  But I took the coward's way out and am writing this post the day after the recall elections.  First, so no one could try to goad me into voting one way or the other.  It's over.  I didn't vote.  Let's move on.  Second, because I saw people lose friends over this insanity.  I saw debates that turned personal and cruel.  I felt like saying the "wrong" thing was going to turn my life into Hell, that I would lose the respect of people that I like or even love.

Quite honestly, I'm still scared.  As soon as I post this, it's out there.  It's beyond my control.  Once I've said it, I can't un-say it.  But I have to believe that my friends will respect and love me enough that they will see beyond this and just keep loving me for who I am.      

That being said...

To Walker supporters: You prevailed.  Congratulations.  Please, though, remember to be kind.  People in this state felt strongly enough to initiate a recall of the man you support.  Winning doesn't give you the right to gloat.  It doesn't mean you should talk down to anyone or feel superior in any way.  Be gracious.  It could have gone the other way; think about how you would like to be treated in that case.  Most of all, if you stand behind Walker, don't be surprised when certain people are shocked or even disgusted by your opinion, but do be respectful and be willing to defend what you believe in.   

To recall supporters:  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry that this happened, that you felt so strongly about something and it didn't work out.  I'm sorry that you're feeling hurt, let down, and angry.  But remember to be proud that you stood up for what you felt was right and stood against what you felt was wrong.  And like the Walker supporters, I ask you to remember that it could have gone the other way.  When your side loses, it's pretty easy to say that you would've been kinder about things (any good sports fan knows how this goes).  I'm not saying you have to take any bullying or that you should let anyone look down on you; no one should have to endure that.  Just remember that the tides will turn, and remember how this feels. 

To everyone: What's done is done.  I know damn near everyone has something to say about the results, and I truly believe you are all entitled to your opinions.  That's part of being human.  But don't shove it down someone's throat.  Don't rub anyone's face in your victory, and don't place blame on someone just because they think differently.  And please, don't throw away friends because they didn't vote the way you did or because they voice a different opinion.  If they're acting like a dick, then fine, only you can make that call.  But think twice before you do anything hasty.

There you have it.  It wasn't eloquent or spectacularly original, but it's me. <3             

Is It Rapture Time Already? (aka, "Beam Me Up, Jebus!")

Boy, time flies!  It seems like just yesterday we were saying goodbye to certain loved ones, preparing for them to be beamed up by the G-man himself because the world was clearly going to end in 2000.  

Actually, there have been a LOT of predicted Rapture experiences.  Check out this list on Wikipedia for all the previous supposed dates of Rapture.  Personally, I'm gonna go with Sir Isaac Newton on this one.  I'm thinking we've got a good 50 years at minimum before Jesus decides he wants to be saddled with the responsibilities sure to accompany (and follow) the Rapture.

In case you weren't aware, I'm not particularly religious.  Wait, that's an understatement.  I am NOT religious.  I'm what most people would probably categorize as 'agnostic.'  I'm pretty sure there's some kind of higher power out there, but I don't believe in any specific God-like figure.

Being a-religious was sort of hard on me growing up.  I remember being in 1st grade or so and a friend asked me if I prayed at night.  With sort of a sideways glance I told him that no, I didn't, to which he promptly replied, "Oh, well you're going to Hell then."  Lovely.  

6-year-old Erika kind of took this to heart (in other words, I was f*cking terrified) and tried this "praying" thing a few times.  Turns out it really just wasn't my thing.  I also completely missed the whole point of prayer, so it would go something like this:

"Dear God, I really want to get a good grade in Math.  And I REALLY wish I could fly.  I think I could, but I need some help, you know?  OK.  Amen."

In the following years, I started coming up with snarky responses to religion-based questions. 

"What church do you go to?"  "I attend the Church of Erika.  We meet Sunday mornings in my room and sleep."

"How come you celebrate Christmas?"  "Because my parents celebrate it."

"Why don't you believe in God?"  "Why don't you believe in dragons?"

Now, I've attended services at a few churches.  When I was a kid, I went to a Lutheran service with a friend and her family.  It was close to Christmastime, and I remember the music was beautiful, but the rest was so-so.  Later in life I sat outside of SEVERAL Catholic services between Girl Scout cookie booth sales.  Not my thing.  And when I was in high school, I went to a Presbyterian service with one of my best friends (the best of my church-going experiences).  It was pretty cool (they were a VERY accepting church, which was a new concept to me), but still just not my thing.

My parents once told me that they wish they would've raised me in a religion so I could choose what I wanted to do about it when I became an adult.  (I'm not sure how they would've accomplished this; Mom also grew up a-religious since my Grandpa is an atheist and Dad went to a Methodist church when he was quite young but also grew up mostly sans religion.)  

I'm actually thankful that they brought me up the way they did.  Sure, I miss out on some religious references now and then.  And for me, Christmas is about a fat guy with magic reindeer and Easter is about bunnies and chocolate.  But I'm not sorry for these things.  I take great joy in giving gifts every December and to this day I hunt Easter eggs at my parents' house!  And I don't need an antiquated book to tell me what's right or wrong; my parents' did that for me, and they did a wonderful job all on their own. 

So, all that being said, I wish all of you believers well in your journey to Heaven, however you may get there.  As for me?  I guess time will tell.  It'll be an adventure, that's for sure.     

A Loss For Words

As y'all know, I'm a Sconnie girl.  And as many of you also probably know, there is some insanity going down in my state right now.  (If you're unaware, check out CNN.com.  Or even your local news.  I heard we were featured on the local news in Vegas, so...)

For the most part, I have refused to take sides in this situation.  I try to remain fairly a-political in most situations these days, as it helps me keep what little bit of sanity I may have.  Plus, my hubby is political-minded enough for the both of us (and potentially a small country... Love you, hubby!).  

This situation is ripping us apart.  I have friends who are essentially disowning other friends because of their views or opinions on this.  I have other friends who will let you say whatever you want as long as it supports their cause, but aren't willing to listen at all to the other side.  In fact, everyone just seems to be attacking those who oppose them without even a second thought. 

In my opinion, if you want to be taken seriously and be respected, you need to do the same to others.  Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them a bad person or doesn't mean you can't respect one another, does it?  

At this point, I am at a loss for words.  Sometimes, though, words aren't needed.  So, here are a few wonderful "wordless" songs for this Friday.

1) Mason Williams - "Classical Gas"  This is probably my favorite instrumental song of all time.  Also, it's rather fitting for this post.  Simpsons fans out there might remember an episode where the the plant employees go on strike ("Dental plan. Lisa needs braces!  Dental plan.  Lisa needs braces!").  While they're picketing, Lisa is there playing guitar and singing a song for the protesters.  When she has finished, Lenny (I believe) says, "Now do 'Classical Gas'!" at which point Lisa starts in on this epic song.  Awesome.

2) Booker T & the MGs - "Green Onions" Another wonderful gem from the '60s.  Many people probably recognize this song, but had no idea who performed it OR what it's called.  (It happens.  I mean, do you know how long it took me to realize that "stop children what's that sound" was actually called "For What It's Worth"?)  Anywhoozles, this is a pretty awesome song, especially for an instrumental.

3) The Surfaris - "Wipe Out"  Okay, so technically this isn't completely wordless, since they cackle and say, "Wiiiiiipe Ouuuuut" at the beginning and all, but this is still considered an instrumental and is still totally awesome.  Also, The Muppets did their own video for it, so how can you not love it?

4) Champs - "Tequila"  Again, there's one word in this song, but who cares?  Don't you just love being somewhere when this song is playing and everyone stops what they're saying or doing to yell, "Tequila!" at the same time?  Pretty sweet if you ask me.  Bringing people together a few syllables at a time.

5) David Rose - "The Stripper"  If nothing else, this song just makes me smile and want to dance around pretending (PRETENDING) to strip.  It also makes me want to watch "The Full Monty" but that's beside the point.  The point is that this is a highly recognizable song with no lyrics.  Excellent.

Here's hoping everyone has a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!  :-)  Cheers!

Hump Day - A Follow Up Story

If you'll recall, I previously wrote about a woman who attempted to assault a police officer with a sex toy after she had skipped out on paying her bill at a local restaurant.  (If you don't recall, go back a few hump days and you'll find it.)

Well, for the curious, here's a follow up story!  

The police report indicates that the woman charged an officer with a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device," which the officer was able to deflect without injury.  The woman is apparently set to plead not-guilty, and her lawyer says that the officer who wrote the report should be "ashamed of himself" for including information about the sex toy assault.

Really?  Your client's the one who skipped out on her bill and then threw a dildo at a police officer, and the officer is the one you think should feel ashamed?  That's a defense attorney for you... 

My Bad... I Guess?

It's just after 8 and already today has left a bad taste in my mouth.  Fantastic.

You see, I tend to take things very personally, and this morning I have already felt attacked, even though I'm sure it was meant to be anything but an attack.  Let me explain.

I am notoriously pessimistic.  I am Eeyore personified.  Well, at least, I used to be.  You see, I'm on a medication called Fluoxetine, aka generic Prozac.  I'm not ashamed of that.  I don't try to hide it.  In fact, I bring it up sometimes to joke about it or be thankful for it!  

I remember I used to hate that I needed medication to be "normal" and I even tried a few times to live without taking the meds (which, for the record, turned out to be a poor idea - who knew?).  Then my mom and I had (roughly) this conversation:

Mom: What do you dislike about it?
Me: I hate being dependent on something just to be normal.
Mom: I see...  Well, are you dependent on your glasses?

Me: Well, yeah, I guess.  But that's different!

Mom: How?  You need the glasses to see normally, right?  You wouldn't just stop wearing them because you didn't like it.

Me: Uh, no.  That'd be pretty dumb.

Mom: Right.  So why is depending on them to live any different than depending on medication?

Me: Um...  Huh...

In my mind, the meds had been more like crutches, easing me back to recovery.  But in reality, they're just as necessary as my glasses or my inhaler.  I depend on these things to live the best life I can, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Anywhoozles, I digress (or digest, for you Family Guy fans).  My point is I used to be the poster child for depression, pessimism, and anything else moody like that.  People who have known me for awhile remember this and, sometimes, still think of me that way.  Which means when I try to be optimistic, people often think I'm being sarcastic or just plain rude. 

And that...  Ooh, that rubs me the wrong way.  I take it very personally when people think I'm incapable of looking at the positive side of things or being in any way optimistic.  Really?  Do you all think I'm that horrible?  Thanks, that's really reassuring.  I feel awesome now.  Woo.

So, as you can see, things that aren't meant to be attacks can sometimes feel like attacks to me.  I get defensive and my pessimistic former self starts creeping back.  The sarcasm thickens, the mood darkens, and it takes everything I have not to lash out.  

Here's a thought - try giving people the benefit of the doubt. Oddly enough, sometimes they really do change; sometimes for the better!  If a friend or coworker or family member or neighbor does or says something out of character, and it's a GOOD change, go with it.  Don't question it.  Don't assume it's a fluke or that it's meant to mock.  Have a little optimism.  It goes a long way.